A Firefly Named Serenity
by Italian Rose
Summary: Aurora Jean Stark, AJ for short, is an uncannily talented medic and River and Simon Tam's cousin. She was tricked into the Academy with River and was instrumental in Simon's rescue of River. They've escaped aboard the Firefly Serenity and chaos, shenanigans and maybe a little romance will ensue. Rated M for later down the road.
1. Chapter 1

Our mothers were sisters so we looked a lot alike. I wasn't a genius like the Tam siblings and I wasn't quite the dancer as River was so I didn't have that thin, athletic, statuesque figure. I was a good 2 to 3 inches shorter but we could pass as sisters.

Now I say I'm not a genius but people say I have a gift. My name is Aurora Jean Stark and I'm a telepath. I used to be a medic. Well I guess I still am. Simon and I made a great tag team back then. I would get them in the field and keep them alive until we got them to the hospital where Simon would take over and save their lives. We saved a couple hundred people over those six years.

That's where they found me, the blue hands. I made a particularly miraculous save in the field and someone got wind of it. Seemed like a great opportunity. When they found out I was related to River (who had been at the Academy for around 2 months at that point) they couldn't wait to get their hands on me.

I went through some intense training before they got mostly sidelined by River and the rest of us sort of fell by the wayside to just be brainwashed. Once I learned what they were doing to River I contacted Simon who was already desperate to get River out and had no idea I had gotten sucked in. Though after that they started in on us again and I don't remember a lot until Simon got to us.

The three of us ended up on Serenity. I fell in love instantly. She was freedom and I had craved it my whole life. I was never one for school learning and high society and that made me the outcast in our family at a young age. I was 24 when I shipped off to the Academy. I was 18 when I left home and became a medic. My chosen profession was seen as being beneath me by my family, due to its blue collar nature, and they wanted nothing to do with me. Simon became the only family I had because I saw him in the Emergency Room and he never held by upper class society's distaste for the labor intensive medical services, if you weren't a doctor or a nurse you were looked down on. Simon knew without us there wouldn't be much use for doctors and nurses.

The crew of Serenity became my family. It took a long time to earn that though. It started when I kept a virtual vigil while caring for Kaylee after that Fed mucked everything up.

I still think Simon and I endeared ourselves to Mal when we doped Jayne up after the train job for Niska went south. I took charge of taking care of Jayne while the meds wore off and that got me on the merc's good side.

Serenity wasn't the only thing I fell in love with. Jayne Cobb was a large, crude mercenary and I couldn't take my eyes off him. I almost killed him and he almost killed me, River and Simon but he was always on my mind.

I guess I sort of melted into the shadows when we first joined Serenity as passengers on Persephone. Simon was preoccupied with keeping River and us undiscovered and figuring out what the government had done to River's brain. After that fed exposed us and Mal agreed to us staying aboard provided we pulled our weight, I tried to keep to myself. I was damaged but still functioning enough to not need supervision as River did. I spent most of my time in my room reading and writing things down when my thoughts would jumble. These were always the times River would lose her cool as well. I was used to being alone, had been my whole adult life to this point, so I tried not to ask Simon for too much. He had his hands full with River. I only lost it in front of the whole crew once. And that was a crazy day.

I still don't know what made it happen. I remember actions but it feels like my mind was off. It happened a couple of days after the Alliance released us and blew that transport out of the sky and all the evidence of Reavers. Jayne and I were just putting the last of the boxes back in their places from when those purple bellies ransacked everything. Out of nowhere I just dropped the box in my hands. Jayne stopped and looked up at the clatter. "You ok, Aurora?" Mal called from the catwalk. I turned and slugged Jayne right in the face. He hollered and I caught the back of his large hand across my mouth. I lunged at him and we hit the deck. A couple more punches were thrown and we wrestled around a minute. Jayne got his arms around me and pinned my arms to my side. I came back to myself sitting on the floor in the cargo bay between Jayne's legs with his big arms tight around my torso. I could feel Jayne's chest heaving against my back but I hadn't even begun to lose stamina. But my face got hot and my body lost all tension and I tried to curl in on myself but the merc's arms held fast.

I wasn't normally one for fits of emotions but tears welled up in my eyes and my voice cracked when I spoke, "Jayne I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened." Simon suddenly appeared next to me and began a volley of questions, all of which I ignored. I looked to Mal. "Please don't space me, Captain. Lock me up if you must but please don't space me." "I'm not gonna space ya, girl. Jayne take her to the infirmary so Doc can check ya both. Jayne I ain't askin'." "I'll go. You don't have to hold me down anymore. I won't hit you." Jayne released his grip and I scooted to my feet and started to the infirmary, Simon at my side and Jayne not far behind.

Simon ran every test he could and asked me a million questions. Jayne stood guard at the door. I couldn't meet his eyes.

I spent the next few days self confined to my bunk. I knew Captain had ordered Simon to keep a close eye on both me and River and I didn't want to cause any more trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of weeks passed and things got back to normal...well as normal as it ever gets aboard Serenity. I began to really feel like one of the crew, more so than Simon I think. I spent a lot of time with Kaylee and Inara, which was lovely because I had never had girlfriends outside of the occasional coworker. I'd taken to spending hours at a time on the bridge. Wash included me in his play with his dinosaurs and we had great fun. I hadn't laughed like that in a very long time. He taught me a lot about Serenity and I'm a quick study. He even gave me control a couple times, quite the thrill.

Kaylee and I had all kinds of shiny fun getting her ready to help the Captain at the fancy party on Persephone. As per usual we didn't get away unscathed on that job either. Simon patched up Mal's wounds and I kept an eye on them over the course of the next couple weeks.

I never realized how often I was in the cargo bay until I couldn't go in it for 3 weeks because of the cows.

Then Sheppard Book got shot at the drop off and Simon and River got kidnapped. I could sense panic in everyone as Jayne and Mal brought Sheppard in from the corral on the scoop stretcher and immediately I was in my element. I took charge and began the best care I could give under the circumstances. While I worked I could feel the panic even from Zoe and the Captain despite their familiarity with the scene. They did well at concealing it though.

That was my first brush with being a reader, though I didn't realize it for a couple more weeks. The panic and desperation I felt from the rest of the crew as we worked to keep Book alive and find him help with Simon missing. I spent the duration of our time on the Alliance cruiser hiding in the smuggling compartment until Zoe came to get me. That gave me plenty of time to think on the events of the day. And the fact that my cousins were missing and we left without them should have had me panicking especially the way the others, mostly Jayne, talked about leaving them there but I just sensed, from the Captain, that we would go back to find them. And we did. That was quite the adventure.

As we flew in to the hills we organized a plan. We dropped Captain and Zoe off outside of town. I helped Jayne into the red harness, making sure it was secure as he bitched and complained about having to get 'the doc and that moon brained sister of his'. I hooked the harness to the winch and opened the inner doors to the hatch. I handed Jayne his shotgun just as Wash brought us in to hover over the witch trial below. I opened the hatch and the laser sight on Jayne's shotgun blazed to life. He pumped it and chambered a round. I was mildly distracted by the picture he painted. Anger and concentration on his face, arm muscles rippling as he held the shotgun steady, ready for action. I was daydreaming and missed Jayne talking at first. "AJ! Ya in there, girl?" "Huh? Oh! Yeah sorry!" I closed up the hatch and took the shotgun from his hands to set off to the side. I unhooked the harness from the winch and helped him out of the contraption, savoring the sensations of touching the big bad merc.

After that fiasco Simon and I did some hard core research and put our medical minds together to put the pieces of River's puzzle together. I think Simon might have forgotten that I was in the same boat but I didn't want to put any more pressure on him.

We came to several speculations but nothing concrete, we needed more data. I came to the conclusion I was a reader around the time Mal got accidentally hitched to a crazy lady and boy was that a weird couple of days.


	3. Chapter 3

The crew of Serenity was hired to help a town on Triumph that kept getting robbed by a couple of cowboy thugs. I volunteered to help on the job and Mal agreed to give me a chance. Captain and Jayne dressed in disguises and Zoe and I hid out in the back of the wagon and we set the trap. Zoe and I listened close as Jayne and Mal were confronted by the bandits. Chaos ensued and both Zoe and I ended up soaked as we leapt from the back of the wagon to simultaneously stop two of the bandits from shooting Mal and Jayne.

The celebration afterwards was more fun than I had had in a long time. Both Mal and Jayne got drunk. Kaylee and River and I danced around the bonfire with the locals for much of the night. Zoe and Wash sat in each other's arms by the fire enjoying the peace and joy around them.

I sat a spell by the fire with Simon just taking everything in. I watched Elder Gomman give Jayne a rain stick and his fascination with it made me giggle. I watched a pretty girl give Mal a flower wreath to wear on his head. I watched Sheppard Book give the dead bandits their last rights. I watched as Mal and Jayne got pulled out to dance, which was quite the sight to see.

Jayne pulled me out to dance with him a moment and I swear I blushed from head to toe. I can still feel his warm hand grasping mine.

The next morning we were loading up to leave when Zoe came down to tell Mal that an Alliance patrol was inbound. We said goodbye and locked up. We were airborne minutes later and cleared atmo less than 5 minutes after that. And that's when Mal found her.

I happened to be with Zoe and Jayne as they walked into the cargo bay.

"Zoe, why do I have a wife?"


	4. Chapter 4

"You got a wife? All I got is that dumbass stick sounds like it's raining. How come you got a wife?"

"I didn't. We're not married."

"I'm sorry that I shame you."

The girl was beautiful and she looked so upset in that moment. I moved forward and put an arm around her in comfort.

"You don't shame me! Zoe, would you get Wash?"

Zoe called everyone to the cargo bay much to Mal's displeasure. She was having too much fun with this and in all honesty it was hilarious but I felt bad for this poor girl, she just didn't understand.

"Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss."

"There's-there's no bliss! I don't know this girl!"

"Then can I know her?"

"Jayne! Don't sully this."

The rest of the crew filtered in then.

"Who's the new recruit?" Asked Book.

"Everyone, I want you all to meet Mrs. Reynolds."

"You got married?!" Kaylee, of course, was happy for the Captain.

Simon, of course, was awkward. "Well that's, uh...congratulations."

"We'd always hoped you two kids would get together. Who is she?"

"She's no one." That's when the poor girl started crying. I squeezed her shoulders in an attempt to comfort as Kaylee scolded Mal. "Captain!"

"Would you stop that?!"

Kaylee came to hug the girl. "Sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry." I saw my first glimpse of Jayne's soft side in that moment as he reached over my shoulders to gently pat the girl's back.

Wash explained how we couldn't turn around because one of the bandits had an uncle high up and there was already an alert out on the cortex.

I could feel Inara's aggravation before she spoke but I was too distracted by the girl between me and Kaylee to understand it for what it was.

That's when Sheppard Book came forward with Simon's encyclopedia to explain that Mal was indeed married to this girl from Triumph.

Mal asked Jayne quietly, "How drunk was I last night?" "I dunno, I passed out." Which was true. I'd had to wake him up and help him stumble to his bunk.

Wash and Zoe were giggling as Book described the ceremony in which Mal became hitched.

Mal being the tactless human he was asked about divorce and that's when the girl took off. I was slightly angry but my anger intensified twofold at that. It felt oddly disproportionate to me in the moment. Turns out I was feeling Inara's anger as well, but none of that occurred to me until later.

I was in the cargo bay below the catwalk when Jayne confronted Mal later that evening. I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation but I got hit with this wave of desire and jealousy and I knew it wasn't my own. I hurried to my room and got on the cortex and began an intense study session. I was trying to find anything about readers or telepaths. Anything to prove that I wasn't crazy. After a good two hours all I'd gotten was that I was indeed crazy but quite possibly a reader because there was no other feasible explanation for what was happening to me.

The ship was finally quiet as everyone had settled in for the night. I had just fallen asleep when I woke suddenly to a feeling of chaos but the ship was still silent. I left my room hoping a quiet walk through Serenity would help me calm my mind. That's when I first heard someone else's thoughts. It was Saffron. I could hear her talking to Inara but it was like listening to two of her. One was what she was saying and the other was like background thoughts and they were alarming. I ran for the control panel in the crew bunk passage by the bridge and hit the alarm.

I heard Saffron say, "Malcolm Reynolds's widow" in what felt like surround sound as I heard it in my head and her voice. I heard a clatter and then the slamming of the shuttle air lock. I was banging on Jayne's bunk as Zoe ran to Wash who lay at the door to the bridge. Jayne's hatch opened "What is it, girl?" "Something is wrong!" Inara rounded the corner to see all of us in the hall. Jayne was now at the door behind Wash and Zoe was trying to wake him. "Baby, wake up." She looked to me, "He's bleeding!" Kaylee appeared from her bunk, "What's going on?" Inara looked scared and practically jumped down into Mal's bunk. I rushed to Zoe and Wash. A quick once over revealed a gash on his forehead and if I had to venture a guess it was from hitting his head on the edge of the door with the help of Saffron. I turned to Kaylee, "Get Simon. Tell him to bring my jump bag."

Moments later I was holding pressure with gauze to Wash's head when he started to come to. "Easy. don't move too much. You've hit your head." "It was Saffron. She kicked me in the head." Simon was in Mal's bunk looking after him and Inara.

We were all in Mal's bunk when he came to. "Is it Christmas?" "Well he's back." Zoe explained what we had deduced so far. As Simon explained about the goodnight kiss Sheppard Book looked at Mal. "Well isn't that special."

After Jayne finally cut through the door with a torch we were able to figure out what was going on. Kaylee and Wash found she'd completely mucked up everything. Mal was anxious to say the least. Kaylee shot back, "Hey. It was your big make out session that got us into this, sir." "I was poisoned." "You were drugged." Inara seemed a bit woozy and I could feel guilt radiating off her. I was beginning to think she hadn't tripped as she claimed but had kissed Mal when she found him unconscious and drugged herself by mistake.

"That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth." Everyone turned to look at Jayne in annoyance and disgust. It felt like an irrational stab to the heart for me. Everyone began discussing how Saffron was a professional. An argument ensued and Wash put an end to it. "Okay! Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else, elsewhere."

It took them a bit but Wash and Kaylee were able to get part of the controls up and running and get us a look at where we were headed. "It's a net." Jayne had that confused look on his face. "I don't get it. Where we headed?" Book said, "The end of the line."


	5. Chapter 5

We developed plan B while Kaylee and Wash worked frantically to get our controls back. Mal and Jayne suited up and we rigged a spare suit up to Jayne's so he could fire Vera. Jayne nailed it and blew that death trap straight to hell. Kaylee was able to untangle the mess of the controls enough to get us some steering back and Mal had a plan "Let's go visiting." We tracked down shuttle 2 and Mal went after it and Saffron.

While Mal was gone Simon did a thorough check on Wash to make sure there wasn't any permanent damage and I quietly visited Inara.

"Come in."

"Hello Inara."

"Oh hello Aurora. What can I do for you?"

"I just came to check on you."

"On me?"

I just gave her a smile I knew a lady of her skill would understand. She blushed prettily and stammered a bit.

"Don't worry I won't tell a soul. I've got a pretty good eye and I could not believe that a woman of your grace, talent and skill would be fooled by that crazy woman. I've also seen the way you look at Mal."

Inara looked down. I stepped closer and said quietly, "I just want to make sure you are okay. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

"Any headache? Dizziness or nausea?"

"A mild headache that comes and goes."

I handed her two small red pills.

"Take these two with some tea and come see me if the headache comes back later today or tomorrow or you have any other symptoms."

"Thank you, Aurora."

"That's what I'm here for. If you ever need anything. And I promise I won't tell a soul."

She smiled as I turned and left the beautifully ornamented shuttle.

I became a lot closer with Inara after that. I earned her trust and confidence. I spent a lot of time with her and Kaylee in the shuttle when we weren't working.

A few weeks later we were coming into Canton for a smuggling job.

Simon and Kaylee were standing by the passenger dorms arguing about whether Simon swore or not. I came around the corner right as Simon professed, "I swear when it's appropriate."

Kaylee laughed, "Simon! The whole point of swearin' is that it ain't appropriate."

I chimed in with "Simon you never swear. Ever."

Kaylee laughed.

"Hey there 'Nara! Heading off for some glamorous romance?"

She smiled and laughed a little. "Let's hope so. See you three tomorrow. Don't let Mal get you in too much trouble while I'm gone."

She climbed the stairs toward the cargo bay and catwalk. Kaylee called after her. "Bye now. Have good sex."

Simon gave her this strange look and I couldn't help but giggle at his 'proper notions'. that's when we heard the rattle from the infirmary.

A half naked Jayne stood in the middle of the room taping a pistol to his waist. Simon was speechless with disbelief and I couldn't help but stare at the specimen in front of me. The sarcasm and attitude coming from Simon was hilarious. I wasn't paying much attention as Jayne and Mall were 'discussing' the 'no guns' policy because I was still distracted by Jayne's bare chest.

I stayed on Serenity with Shepherd and Zoe and River. As the afternoon wore on it found me in the kitchen tidying up as River sat at the table engrossed in something. Book entered then, smiling at me and asking River what she was up to. "Fixing your Bible."

I probably should have intervened then but I was curious as to how this would play out.

I went to find River a little while later. I managed to talk her into giving Book the pages from his Bible back. I was standing in the doorway of her bunk when she went to give them back to him. "I'm...I tore these out of your symbol and they turned into paper. But I want to put them back, so..."

I heard water turn off and Preacher stuck his head out the door. "I'm sorry, what's that?"

His hair was free and standing up as if he'd touched a live wire. River screamed and took off running. Zoe came around the corner then asking, "Preacher, what the hell did you sic on..."

She trailed off when she caught sight of his hair. "Whoa! Oh."

It took us a few minute to find River but I finally found her holed up in the smuggling compartment. Zoe sat on the stairs as I tried to coax her out. She was rambling about Preacher's brains being in terrible danger. Book knelt down next to me. "River? Please, why don't you come on out?"

"No! I can't. Too much hair."

I couldn't help but laugh. Zoe tried her best not to.

"Is that it?" Book exclaimed. Zoe was chuckling, "Hell yes, Preacher. If I didn't have stuff to get done, I'd be in there with her."

The Shepherd tried to explain the hair to River. Zoe and I cut him off and were finally able to coax her out just as Wash and Mal walked back into the cargo bay. I was only half listening as Wash and Mal explained how Jayne was some kind of hero in Canton and they were going to use that to get the goods out of town.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning we left early. I went with Zoe and Wash on the Mule as Mal went to collect Jayne, Simon and Kaylee.

Wash guided the four wheeler along the entrenched roads of the smelly sun baked town. Zoe sat behind him and I rode on the back. Wash called out, "Morning, kids!"

As we came up behind Jayne, Mal and Kaylee walking away from the center of town. Zoe said, "Is that Jayne? Is that really him?"

I hopped off the back so Mal and Kaylee could get on. As I passed in front of Jayne I pretended to be faint and leaned into him saying, "Oh it's really him I can't believe it's the hero of Canton."

Zoe kept playing as Jayne got a big grin and put an arm around me.

"Wash pinch me. I must be dreaming."

"Aw hell, I'll pinch ya."

Both Zoe and Wash swatted at his hand. Laughing, I hopped up on the front deck of the Mule and we headed off as Mal directed Jayne back to town square.

We loaded that big box onto the Mule and eased our way back through town and the growing crowd. Once we unloaded in Serenity, Mal, Kaylee and I went back to round up Jayne and Simon.

Listening to Jayne's speech was rather painful. He was right about one thing, he wasn't good with words but there was conviction there that surprised all of us. The la shi hit the fan then.

Kaylee knelt next to Simon where he lay face down in the dirt in front of Stitch Hessian.

"Honey."

"Kaylee?"

She helped him to his feet and out of the way as Jayne and Stitch faced off.

After Stitch shot that mudder Jayne nailed him with that big knife right to the chest from a good 50 feet away. They charged each other and began beating the la shi out of each other. Jayne threw Stitch and was on him a moment later bashing his head into the base of that eerie ass statue.

Then Jayne noticed the mudder kid laying there. He tried to rouse him. I knelt at his side and put a hand on his shoulder. Quietly I said, "He's dead, Jayne."

Jayne stood then and gave an impassioned speech. The young kid held out the large knife and Jayne snatched it from his hands an went up and shoved that statue to the ground.

Back on Serenity I snagged the knife out of its sheath at Jayne's back and cleaned it for him. After takeoff I found him standing on the catwalk staring into space. I put a hand on his shoulder and held out the knife. he looked confused.

"I cleaned it for you."

He grunted and pulled the sheath out of his pants. He didn't say anything as he played with the knife and sheath. I stood there quietly with my hand still on his shoulder. I began to slowly move my hand up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him. The only sign he even knew I was still there was a small subtle shift in his position as he leaned closer to me and arched his back into my hand minutely as he leaned on the rail.

Mal came by a few minutes later. Jayne began to talk then.

"Don't make no sense. What... Why the hell did that Mudder have to go and do that for, Mal? Jumpin' in front of the shotgun blast. Hell, there weren't a one of them understood what happened out there. They're probably sticking that statue right back up."

"Most like."

"I don't know why that eats at me so."

"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made out of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. Ain't 'bout you, Jayne. About what they need."

Jayne mumbled, "Don't make no sense."

We stood there in silence a little longer. Mal walked back toward the bridge. After a few more minutes of silence as I rubbed Jayne's back I leaned in closer and said quietly, "If you need anything you know where to find me. I'm here for you."

I squeezed his shoulder and went to find Simon to see about patching up that gash I noticed on his arm.

Simon wasn't all that adept at caring for himself. The bandage on his face looked like a two year old did it. I laughed when I saw it.

"Sit down, Simon."

I pointed him to the chair in the infirmary and went about getting my supplies together. I cleaned the busted bruise on his face and put tape on it to help it heal without scaring. I cleaned out the gash on his forearm and inspected it.

"I don't think this needs stitches. I'm just going to bandage it up and make sure you keep it clean."

He chuckled, "Yes ma'am."

The next day found Inara, Zoe, Kaylee, River an myself holed up in Inara's shuttle. We were eating cookies she had brought from Higgins moon and sipping tea and gossiping. It was a refreshing break from reality that did all of us good. Inara braided River's hair while she told us of what happened with the magistrate's son and getting the land lock on Serenity lifted. Kaylee and I filled in the details of the Jayne-day celebration gone awry. We managed to get Kaylee talking about Simon, her crush was obvious and we all just at it up. I secretly hoped Simon wouldn't blow it by having his head up his pigu. Kaylee's never ending sunshine was just what that boy needed.


	7. Chapter 7

The next couple of weeks went mostly the same way. All of us doing our respective chores. Keep Serenity flying. Worked a couple little jobs here and there. Dinner together every night. Mal and Inara dancing around each other. Simon blundering around Kaylee's affections. River's random outbursts. And I kept sensing other people's thoughts and emotions.

I couldn't stop or control it and it was seemingly random for those first few weeks. And talking with River didn't help me solve anything. She was not always coherent in her speech patterns and sometimes she seemed very cold emotionally. I constantly wondered as to the extent of the damage they did to her and it was terrifying knowing what they did to me. Simon was no closer to cracking her mystery than when we arrived on Serenity.

One morning found Jayne at his weight bench passing time. Lost in my own thoughts I'd wandered into the cargo bay. The sight of Jayne without a shirt doing pull ups was intoxicating. Somehow I managed to reel in my hormones and took a seat on is bench while he completed his set. He dropped down with a thud and looked at me. I smiled back at him. We talked while he worked out, lifting weights and the like. That was the most we'd ever really talked before but it was a good conversation that lasted near an hour before Jayne went to clean up and I wandered off to do more research on the cortex.

That evening I helped Kaylee make a 'cake' for Simon's birthday. Lots of giggling was involved. We were working on the frosting when Jayne ambled in.

"Whatcha makin'?"

"A surprise! Shhh."

Kaylee and I broke into giggles again at the look on his face.

"Oh! Here Jayne try this. I wanna know if it's good."

I swiped a finger in the bowl and held it out to him. I wasn't even thinking and he didn't hesitate and sucked my finger right in his mouth. I felt his hot tongue swipe across my finger tip and all thought left my brain. I just stared as he held my wrist in his hand and then released my finger.

"Tastes like chocolate."

Kaylee said, "Shiny!"

Jayne looked at me a second and then released my wrist and walked away. I brought my hand down and rested it on the counter. I just stared at it for a second. Kaylee nudged me in the side and I finally came back to reality and instantly turned red as a strawberry. I knew Kaylee wouldn't miss it and sure enough..."Oh! AJ! You like him."

I felt myself turn more red, though I don't know if that was physically possible at that point. Kaylee was grinning from ear to ear.  
"Tell me!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No."

"Come on, AJ."

"Not now. Later."

We finished the cake and hid it out of sight so Simon wouldn't stumble on it by accident before dinner.

Dinner that night was fun. We presented Simon with his cake. I realized I had left the little gift I had for him in my room and I ran back to get it. The power flickered as I was coming back into the kitchen. I stopped in the hallway to listen because something about that surge felt very wrong. From around the corner I heard Kaylee say, "I'll go check it out."

I heard River say, "Fire."

I remember standing in the doorway facing Kaylee in front of me. I heard the roar behind me and saw Zoe lunge from her chair towards us. I felt the impact and then the heat and felt myself flying through the air. Zoe crashed through the chairs and landed to the right of the stairs against the cabinets. I cracked my head on the table as I was flung over it and then my back slammed into the wall to the left of the door. I don't remember much after that.

The next thing I remember was walking up in the infirmary surrounded by the whole crew. I opened my eyes to see Wash sitting next to Mal who was laying on the exam bed. Zoe was across from me laid out on the counter made into a bed. The rest of the crew was all walking towards the door until I went to reach out toward Shepherd, who was closest to me, to ask what happened, and something clattered to the floor and everyone spun around to look at me. I asked in a very raspy voice, "What happened?"

There was a huge flurry of action after that as everyone rushed to care for me and explain that they thought I was dead. See, after the explosion Simon couldn't find my pulse or any breath sounds and he couldn't get to the infirmary to get his equipment to shock me and by the time they could get there Simon was sure I was gone and Zoe was their main priority.

The whole crew filled me in on what happened before I came to. They told me how we'd lost life support and Mal had sent everyone off in the shuttles in opposite directions. Mal told us all about how he got shot by the scrapers but managed to get the part into Serenity. He also told us how he'd given himself a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart like he'd seen Simon do to Zoe when they didn't know what was wrong with her after the blast. They told me how, when Zoe woke up, she ordered everyone back to Serenity and it was just in the nick of time because the Captain had almost bled out.

I learned a lot more about what happened after I was knocked out from what the crews thoughts lingered on. It wasn't on purpose, I wasn't trying to read minds but I was finding that when one person was close and they had something on their mind and were dwelling on it I could pick up on it, whether I wanted to or not. I felt a lot of guilt from Kaylee, Shepherd and Simon especially.

I was bed confined for over a week after the explosion. I had fractured two ribs, a severe concussion, bruised lung, a broken leg and I'd dislocated my left shoulder. I was stuck in the infirmary for the first two days. Both Zoe and Cap were 'discharged' to their own bunks to rest by the end of that first day after they saved Mal. I was hooked up to all the monitors and I slept for most of the first day because I was heavily sedated due to the amount of pain I was in. The second day was rough. I didn't want to be so doped up but that meant being in pain. And while I was supposed to be under observation, I didn't really get a whole lot of visitors and it was kind of depressing.

That's when I realized I was beginning to be able to control who I read and I could focus it a little. I focused on the guilt and began to deduce where it stemmed from. When the explosion happened and Zoe and I had gotten tossed, it took everyone a couple minutes to realize I was down too. Simon was the worst. I confronted him about his edginess around me at the end of the second day and managed to talk him into letting me go to my own room.

The next morning Jayne and Shepherd Book helped me to my room. I could hardly walk between my fractured left leg, the pain with deep breaths from my ribs and damaged lungs and the dizziness from my concussion. I was thankful for their help and gentleness. Getting into bed was a feat and the end result was me almost in tears and Jayne just scooping me up to place me gently on the mattress.

After that Kaylee and Inara and Book visited me often. Simon was in and out with needles and pain meds and poking and prodding. The next day into my house arrest, Kaylee came by with a cup of tea and a bowl of soup and sat down to talk for a while since she had the time now that they'd finally gotten Serenity back in order.

"So..." I looked over my tea cup.

"So what?"

Kaylee smiled.

"So with everything that happened and you almost dyin' you never got to tell me about that certain someone."

"Jiu wo." I muttered as she giggled.

"There isn't anything to tell." She rolled her eyes.

"I ain't blind AJ. That was pure desire in your eyes when he tasted that frosting off your finger. I know it when I see it."

"Probably cuz that's the look you give Simon." She blushed prettily and I laughed. "He's a boob but he likes you too. You just gotta give him a chance. He's still very much preoccupied with figuring out what the Academy did to me and River...well mostly River."

Kaylee looked a little dreamy at talk of Simon.

"He is great though. He's so smart and caring and polite. Boy is he something to look at too."

I laughed at that. She came back around and said, "What about Jayne?"

"What about him?" I was trying to dodge but she gave me a look that brooked no argument. I sighed and caved.

"I can't help but stare at him. He's so...male. Ya know?" Kaylee giggled.

"I know exactly what you mean."

"I mean he's not the brightest or kindest but he's so strong and brave and a sight to behold, especially when he's all fired up. There's just something about him I can't resist."

"Mmhm."

"But he hardly acknowledges I exist and I know he'd never have an interest in me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Come on, Kaylee. I have nothing to offer. I'm a damaged freak, not any part of his type."

"You're not a freak or damaged. And you can always make him notice."

We talked for a good hour or more about all kinds of stuff and it felt so good to have someone to confide in after all this time on my own.

I caught on to Kaylee's game the next afternoon when Jayne showed up at my door with a book in his hand. I knew Kaylee was sending him to bring me things on purpose. I owe it to her for that though because she kept sending Jayne in when she couldn't come. That night I spiked a fever and was totally out of it. Jayne had come by to check on me at Kaylee's request. He knocked on the door and I didn't respond. He knocked again and called out, "AJ!"

More silence. Jayne peeked in then and found me laying in bed. At first he was about to back out thinking I was just sleeping but he noticed the blankets rumpled and tossed off and a sheen of sweat on my skin. He stepped into the room then and called my name again. He reached out to shake me and felt the heat of my skin. He rushed out to call for Simon. I sort of came to at Jayne hollering. I was in and out of consciousness but I remember Jayne carrying me to the infirmary and whispering quiet 'sorry's and 'you'll be ok' when I moaned in pain. I don't remember anything until the next afternoon. I came around to find myself hooked up to IV fluids and an antibiotic drip as well as all the monitors running quietly on the wall and Shepherd Book sitting by my side bent over his Bible. My voice was scratchy and I only managed a whispered, "Thank you."

He looked up and smiled. "For what, dear?"

"For praying for me."

He smiled again and kissed my forehead gently then stepped out to find Simon.

I stayed in the infirmary a whole extra day to ensure the infection was gone. Simon finally released me on the condition that I take it easy. Which was a stupid condition considering I still had a broken leg which was splinted but we had no crutches for me to get around with until it healed in a week or two.

Book and Kaylee were great about helping me get around but it was difficult to use them to hobble around because my ribs were still causing a lot of pain.

One afternoon found Book and Kaylee helping me down the stairs to the cargo bay so I could sit outside with Kaylee while Cap'n, Zoe and Jayne worked a job. It was a slow and painful process. I heard Jayne come up behind us about halfway down. I heard him huff as he quickly got impatient. A gasp escaped as I landed hard on a step and Book squeezed too tight around my ribs. I heard the sigh behind me and the gruff, "Move." and suddenly I was scooped into the air with a gasp. I came to rest pressed against Jayne's firm chest and looked up to see him looking down at me. He took a step down and I put my arm around his neck to hold on. His smell was intoxicating and I relaxed into his gentle hold on me. It didn't take nearly long enough to reach the three chairs setting on the ramp but when we did Jayne set me gently on my good leg. As soon as I was steady he turned to leave. On impulse I said, "Wait."

He paused and looked down at me, expectant. I wrapped my arms around his middle in a hug and said quietly, "Thank you, Jayne."

He paused, confused. Then relaxed after a moment and tentatively patted me on the back. I let go and awkwardly lowered myself into one of the chairs as Book and Kaylee joined me and Jayne walked off to meet Mal and Zoe off ship. I was immediately pinned with identical knowing looks from Book and Kaylee. My face turned as red as one of the Shepherd's strawberries. Kaylee's grin said it all. Shepherd just smiled gently and said, "You're carrying quite the torch for that man, aren't you?"

I just nodded. "I know you're going to tell me to be careful and I appreciate it but it's not a worry. He has no interest in me. I'm just an annoyance to him like my cousins. While I'm not quite as dysfunctional as River can be, I'm not exactly intact, so to say. And besides, he is perfectly happy with his pretty whores, no strings attached. It's a moot point."

Both just stared at me a moment.

"What?"

Kaylee being Kaylee just said "You're in love with him."

"It doesn't matter if I am or not."

I crossed my arms over my chest and regretted it instantly as pain shot across my chest but I wouldn't let them see.

"Jiu wo" = Save me


	8. Chapter 8

Several weeks passed fairly uneventfully aboard Serenity. About 2 weeks after Jayne swept me off my feet I was back to walking on my own. I had healed enough that Simon gave me the go ahead to get back to normal. I left the infirmary in search of Jayne. I found him and Shepherd Book at the weight bench. I kept my distance waiting for them to finish their sets. Jayne moved to the pull up bar as Book headed to the passenger dorms. I made my way over to stand in front of Jayne.

"Whatdya want?"

"I, um, have a favor to ask of you."

I watched him do two more pull ups before I continued.

"See, Simon said I'm back to normal. Or, well, I'm healed up anyway. But I don't feel back to normal. I feel weak. I was hoping, maybe, you'd be willing to train me a bit? You're quite fit and I need help."

I looked up at him again, hopeful but very unsure. He didn't answer right away, just continued doing pull ups. I was about to apologize and walk away when he dropped to the floor with a thump and grabbed a towel to wipe his face.

"You wan' my help?"

"Yes please. I'm a good student, honest."

"Ok, s'pose it can't hurt. Find me tomorra."

"Oh thank you!"

The next day I caught Jayne climbing out of his bunk. He just stared at me a moment and I smiled shyly and he said,

"Well come on then." and led the way to the cargo bay.

He started me with easy stuff, pushups and light weights. When we finished I felt great and I was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't stop myself as I gave him a tight hug around the middle and skipped away with a heartfelt,

"Thank you!"

I passed Mal on my way through the kitchen and I must have still been smiling because he asked,

"What's got you all sunshiny?"

"Jayne was just helping me get back to myself. Gotta be able to take care of your crew again, Cap'n."

He smiled a bit at that and I got the sense he was beginning to think of me as part of his crew but I still had a long way to go to earn that.

Twice a day, when we had the time, for nearly 3 weeks Jayne had me training and I had now surpassed my pre-injury capabilities. Jayne and I had gotten to know each other fairly well. I had heard a couple stories about hi Ma and family back home and I told him about the fact that my parents wanted nothing to do with me and a little about being a medic. Yesterday Jayne was doing pushups and I hopped on his back as a joke. He paused in the upright position.

"What are ya doin' girly?"

"Giving you a challenge."

He grunted and continued as if I weighed nothing and then nearly threw me to the floor as he got up with a laugh. The agility drilled into me at the Academy had me landing gently on my feet. Today, Jayne got down in push up position and motioned me over. As I came up he said,

"Well hop up."

I laughed and climbed onto his back and sat cross legged. I held onto his shoulders as he went about his set. I could tell he was close to done when Mal walked into the bay. He stood in front of us with a look of confusion and asked,

"Do I even want to know?"

Jayne finished his last two and I moved to straddle his back and then swung my leg over and off and Jayne stood up next to me.

"What's up, Cap'n?"

"We'll be stoppin' on Ariel here in a bit."

Jayne asked, "Got a job?"

"No we're dropping Inara off."

Mal left after that and I turned to Jayne and asked if he had anything left to do.

"Nah. Thanks though for, ya know."

"Not a problem. I can keep doin' it if you like."

"Sure."

A couple hours later found Jayne sitting at the table cleaning his guns and sharpening his knives. Kaylee and Inara were sitting playing dominoes. I sat across from Jayne idly inspecting all his weapons spread out on the table. He had given me a suspicious look when I had first sat down but I think I eased his mind when I showed a genuine respect for the arsenal before us. Simon and River were in the kitchen and Simon was unsuccessfully trying to get River to eat.

"It smells like crotch."

"Jayne!" Kaylee scolded.

"Well it does." I was trying to suppress a laugh.

Wash and Zoe came in just then. Wash was trying to convince his wife that it would be nice to spend some time out on Ariel but she was having none of it.

River sat down next to me and Simon across from her. Wash pleaded with us to appeal to Zoe. Inara of course made it sound so elegant. Zoe just gave Wash her patented skeptical look while pouring herself tea. She shot down Simon's suggestion of hiking and swimming with a definitive,

"I don't care if it's got sunsets 24 hours a day. I ain't setting foot on that planet. "

That's when Mal came in and shot everyone down.

"No one is setting foot on that fancy rock. I don't want anyone leaving the ship. Come to think of it, I don't want anyone lookin' out the windows or taking loud. We're here to drop off Inara, that's it."

Kaylee looked rather disappointed at this news.

"What's the point of coming to the core if I can't even step off the boat?"

"You could have got off with Shepherd Book at the Bathgate Abbey. Coulda been meditating on the wonders of your rock garden by now."

"Beats just sittin'."

I couldn't help the laugh that burst out as Wash looked at Jayne with confusion and said,

"It is just sitting."

Mal sat at the table with his food as Inara answered questions about having to undergo a physical exam every year.

Jayne hocked spit onto his whet stone. Mal put his chopsticks down in annoyance and Simon had a disgusted look as he said,

"Can you not do that when we're...ever!?"

He spit again and began sharpening his large knife. River disappeared from my side.

She appeared on my other side a few moments later. I registered the chef's knife in her hand and leapt to my feet but was too late as she sliced across Jayne's chest. A moment of shock passed and then he back handed her across the face. She flew back and onto the floor and Jayne rocked back in his chair. Everyone jumped to their feet and rushed forward. I was on my knees in front of Jayne in a flash as Simon rushed to River's side. Zoe looked down at Jayne's chest and commented,

"That's deep."

Jayne grunted in pain as I pressed a napkin against his chest to stem the bleeding. River sat up and looked at him with an innocent face and just said,

"He looks better in red."

Before anyone else could react I looked to Simon and ordered,

"Get her to her room. Make sure she's ok."

I looked up at Jayne and said, "To the infirmary, I'll take care of this."

I set up for stitches as Jayne pulled his shirt off and laid back on the exam table. I pulled the tray up and pulled on a pair of gloves. I looked him in the eye and warned, "This is going to hurt."

Then poured disinfectant across his chest. He clenched his jaw and let loose a litany of curses in English and Chinese. I wiped away the excess blood and took a look at the wound. It was a clean slice, no jagged edges, and while it definitely needed stitches, thankfully it wasn't too deep.

I began stitching and Jayne gritted his teeth and gripped the sides of the exam table. I was halfway through when mal and Simon walked in.

Jayne laid in immediately, "Gorram freak's completely off her axel."

Simon tried to defend his sister but Jayne cut him off.

"Shut it. I ain't talking to you. She's gotta go. All three of them's gotta go. Arial's as good a place as any to leave 'em. Might even pick us up a reward for our trouble."

I glared at Jayne as I worked, not that he noticed.

"No one's getting left." Mal stated firmly.

"She belongs in a bughouse. You don't pitch her off this boat right now, I swear to you..."

Mal was reaching his limit, "What? What do you swear, Jayne?"

"They don't get gone, you better start locking up your room at night. Next time little sister gets in a murderin' mood, might be you she comes callin' on. Maybe Kaylee. Or Inara. You let them stay, we're gonna find out."

I couldn't deny that he had a point about River, and myself honestly. Mal had had enough and he leaned in close.

"Finish your work, AJ. This is my boat. They're part of my crew. No one's getting left. Best you get used to that."

I had just set the last suture and Jayne stood, shoving his ruined shirt at Simon.

"You owe me a shirt." And he stormed out.

Mal looked to Simon as I cleaned up.

"She's to stay confined to her room at all times, no exceptions. Take her to the kitchen, the infirmary, whatever, you ask me first, understand?"

Simon nodded, "I do."

"When I took you three in, the deal was you keep her and AJ in check. Now we haven't had any problems since that bout you had with Jayne and I'm grateful. But, you can't keep River in check and hold up your end, we're going to have to revisit the deal." Mal softened some then and asked,

"She's getting worse, isn't she?"

"Yes."

Mal left then and Simon stood there a moment staring at the floor. I put my hand on his shoulder and he said,

"I don't know what to do anymore AJ. I'm a surgeon not a psychiatrist."

"Well we need to figure out what the Academy did to us and maybe then it'll be more in your scope to deal with her."

He turned to face me then with wide eyes.

"Aurora Jean Stark you are a genius!"

He grabbed my shoulders and kissed my forehead. He rushed out of the infirmary and left me standing there rather confused.

Docking on Ariel found Mal and Jayne playing horseshoes while Wash, Zoe and I watched. I watched as Kaylee walked with Inara to her shuttle. Mal and Jayne were discussing not leaving the ship and its implications on finding work.

"My pop always said, 'Anyone who can't find work ain't lookin' hard enough' and we ain't even lookin'."

That's when Simon entered the cargo bay and his plan popped into my mind clear as if it were my own plan before he said,

"You can stop looking. There's a client. Me. I have a job for you."


	9. Chapter 9

"You've got a job for us?" Mal asked, skeptical.

"One that will pay for itself ten time over."

The crew all moved in to hear about this job. Jayne brushed it off,

"Aw forget it We ain't that desperate."

I noticed the meds Simon was holding. He held one up to show the crew.

"You know what this is? It's a common immune booster called isoprovaline. Street value for a dosage this size, fifty platinum. Maybe twenty credits."

That piqued everyone's interest. Simon showed two more and then began to propose the job he had in mind.

"All of these are just from the med kit I had with me when I came on board. At the hospital like the one in Ariel City, they'll have shelves of that stuff. Whatever the take, it's more than enough payment for what I have in mind?"

"So the med vault isn't the job?" Wash questioned.

"That's the payment. I tell you how to get in, get out, and what's worth taking; if you help me get River into the hospital's diagnostic ward."

"What's in the diagnostic ward?"

I responded with awe at the genius of this, "A 3D neuroimager."

Simon nodded at me.

"If I can get River, and you, in there, I might be able to figure out what they did to you at the Academy."

"So we get you, your sister and AJ into the whatchathing and you tell us how to clean out the hospital." Mal clarified.

"Yes."

Ever the sweetheart, Kaylee chimed in with, "Not to be negative, but don't the hospital need that medicine?"

It clicked with Zoe, "Government run facility. They'd be restocked in a matter of hours."

Simon said, "She's right. They'll never miss it."

"Plus, folks on the rim sure could use it."

In typical Wash style he piped up with, "You know, it's all very sweet; stealing from the rich, selling to the poor, but you're talking about breaking into a highly secured Alliance facility. How do you plan on getting around security?"

Simon collected the vials from the crew and said, "It's not easy; but it can be done."

And thus began our planning to break into St. Lucy's Hospital.

Simon had a very thorough plan but it had a couple gaps. When the Captain pointed out that the three of us were fugitives and the patient eye-dent scans would blow our cover I saw how Simon planned to get us in. I admit it was brilliant but it needed a couple tweaks to the process. I pitched in with my knowledge of the emergency, pre-hospital side of things and helped set Jayne up with who to get our gear and ID's from. I also learned to add forgery to Jayne's ever growing repertoire.

While I helped Kaylee and Wash outfit their newly acquired ambulance, Simon was attempting to give Cap'n, Zoe and Jayne a crash course in medical terminology.

As we prepped the final details I found Simon getting the drugs read for the three of us. He was just filling the second syringe and went to pick up the third.

"Wait."

He turned to look at me. I was in my flight suit with added St. Lucy's EMS patches to match the rest of the crew.

"AJ what...?"

"Trust me on this, Simon."

"But the security...and..."

I put my hand on his.

"I spent six years excelling in this field. St. Lucy's is just like Capital City General. Jayne is a master forger and the badge is really all I need and my confidence. And let's be honest, Simon, those three need all the expert help they can get. Not to mention that four is a more realistic crew. I will stick with you and River. Medics work in pairs after all."

I could see him trying to find the flaw in my logic. After a moment he nodded and then sighed with a slight smile and said, "Honestly this makes me more at ease about this."

I smiled back and said, "Alright let's go."

"We're going to be asleep. AJ and the others will have to pretend we're dead to sneak us into the hospital. But once we're inside, we'll wake up. Everything will be fine. You understand?"

"You're going to suspend cerebral, cardiac and pulmonary activity in order to induce a proto-comatose state."

River rattle off with ease. Simon nodded.

"That's right."

"I don't wanna do it."

"I know."

Tears filled her eyes.

"I don't wanna go to that place. I don't want to die."

"No, now, no one is going to die. It's okay. The others will take care of us while we're asleep and when we get back," River moaned a little sob, "Shh shh, River, it's okay. It's okay. This, this could be what we've been hoping for. When this is over, I'll be able to help you. I'll be able to make the nightmares go away. Okay?"

River nodded, "Okay."

"Okay. Lie back."

I was waiting outside as Simon talked River through and then gave her the injection. I stepped in quietly as River succumbed and took the second syringe from Simon to administer it for him. Once they were out, Jayne helped me get both of them onto the gurneys and onto the ambulance.

The tension in the ambulance was palpable. Jayne was quietly rehearsing his lines. Mal spoke over the whine of the engines.

"We speak only when spoken to. We avoid all unnecessary contact and we stay together until we reach the morgue. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Zoe responded as she fixed her vest.

"Jayne?"

"...Yeah, yeah, I got it."

"Are we gonna have a problem?"

"I know what I gotta do."

"Not what I'm talking about. Am I gonna have a problem with you and Simon?"

"It's up to him"

"Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. It's bound to make anyone a mite ornery," Mal conceded, "So I figure-"

Jayne interrupted.

"It's a good plan."

"What?"

"The doc did good coming up with that job. Don't mean I like him any better. Nothing buys bygones quicker than cash. Maybe I'll give him a tattoo while he's out."

"Let him do his thing, and you get him out. No messing with him for laughs."

"Don't worry about me As long as I get paid, I'm happy."

Something about his statement struck me as odd but I ignored it because Wash was bringing us in to the helipad and it was show time.

We all jumped out and the other three followed my lead loading the protective shells onto the waiting gurneys. Wash warned us about the next shift being only a few hours away and Mal said we'd be an hour tops. I led the way into the hospital pulling one of the gurneys behind me. As we approached the doors and guards I said so only the crew could hear me,

"Just follow my lead and you won't need to say your lines."

I walked right up to the nurse's station and the ER doc asked,

"What do you got?"

"Two DOA's." I said, calmly.

She scanned them to clear the security and said,

"Take them to the morgue." and walked away.

Jayne started to blurt out his rehearsed line but I hip checked the gurney back into him and gave him a quick glare. The charge nurse gave him a funny look and I smiled at her and said,

"He's new to this. Still training."

She smiled back and I gave the gurney a sharp pull and then headed toward the morgue.

Once in the morgue and Simon and River were on the cold metal tables I gave them both a short from the auto injector Simon gave me and Mal told Jayne,

"That should bring them out of it in a few minutes. Once they're up, get them to the imaging suite, let Simon do his thing, then haul it back to the rendezvous. Fifty minutes."

"Got it."

We both acknowledged.

I sensed a lot of unease from Jayne, so as soon as Cap'n and Zoe were gone and the silence settle in I suggested,

"Can you go get a gown for River to change into and maybe try to snag a lab coat for Simon? Please."

"Uh yeah. Sure."

I sat in silence among the dead and Simon and River sleeping. Jayne returned a few minutes later, still looking uneasy. I watched as his eyes lingered on one of the dead bodies covered in a sheer blue sheet. Then his eyes shifted to the wall where one of the cold storage doors stood open. River sat up then and muttered something I couldn't understand but it made Jayne jump out of his skin. Then Simon came to coughing. I went to his side to help him up. Jayne asked,

"What the hell's the matter with you?"

Simon looked at him as he continued to cough uncontrollably. I answered,

"It's a side effect of the drug. He should be okay in a minute."

River could be heard vomiting onto the floor. I went to her side and helped her dress in the hospital gown while Jayne brought a wheelchair over.

We made our way through the hospital, me pushing River in the wheelchair, Simon beside us and Jayne opening doors when necessary. As we walked through the recovery ward River started to talk. It didn't make much sense at first.

"Doing it backwards. Walking up the down slide."

Jayne muttered to keep her quiet and Simon explained that we were in the recovery ward.

"They're going to die."

Simon tried to reassure, "No one is going to die."

I was hit with a feeling of foreboding and at the same moment as River pointed we both said, "He is."

Simon didn't catch it at first; he just pushed River's arm down and explained about the doctor standing next to the bed. River's head was turned to the side as if listening and she said, "He's not going to help him right."

"River the doctors here are the best in the system. This is one of the top hospitals in the Core or anywhere else."

I chimed in with, "Where you should be."

I stopped walking then and River started to come up out of the chair saying, "You have to help him."

Jayne and Simon grabbed River to stop her. She exclaimed, "He's killing him!"

Just as the doctor called, "Code Blue!"

I whispered, "Simon go."

Something in me was screaming that Simon could save that man. He rushed over and was instantly in Doctor Tam, genius surgeon, mode.

Two defibrillations and a 0.4 of atropine push later, Simon saved the man's life and gave the doctor a lecture. He returned to us and we headed towards diagnostics. Jayne had a stunned look on his face and River and I just smiled.

The imaging suite was empty and silent. The table loomed, alone in the middle of the expansive room. River gripped the arms of the wheelchair and tensed up. I put a hand on her shoulder and said quietly, "I'll go first."

She nodded and visibly relaxed. I took a deep breath and walked to the center of the room. I removed my vest and the gear from my pockets and set my hat atop it all and then climbed in the chair. I looked over to Simon at the controls and said, "Just the scan, so we can focus more time on River."

He nodded, "Hold still."

The machine whirred as I lay with my eyes closed. It took less than five minutes and then I helped River up. She lay with her eyes closed as Simon started the scan again and I put all my gear back on. I watched the 3D image of River's brain as it hovered above her. Simon walked over to examine it. He said, "They opened up her skull. That's a scalpel scar. They opened up her skull and they cut into her brain."

Jayne moved to Simon's other side and asked, "Why?"

I could see Simon trying to reason in his head, "the only reason to make an incision in someone's brain is to lobotomize them. To go in and remove damaged tissue. Why anyone would cut into a healthy brain is..."

He trailed off and we made eye contact and I could see the pain and confusion written all over his face. He looked back at the holographic image.

"They did it over and over."

I saw the gravity of this dawn on Simon about 15 seconds after it hit me like a train.

"They stripped her amygdala."

Jayne asked, "The what?"

I answered, "You know how you get scared or worried or nervous but you don't want to be so you push it to the back of your mind and try not to think about it. The amygdala let's you do that. Think of it like a filter in your brain that keeps your feeling in check."

Simon looked almost horrified as he said, "She feels everything. She can't not."

Jayne looked almost nervous again.

"That's fascinating Let's get moving."

Simon looked surprised.

"We still have twenty minutes."

"Wrong. Plan changed while you were out. Meetin' out the back way in 5."

"Well I could use another couple minutes. I'm sure if we get in touch with Captain Reynolds..."

Jayne interrupted, "Captain gave his orders. we play it by the book."

River opened her eyes and screamed. Jayne rushed forward and covered her mouth as Simon turned off the hologram. Simon tried to calm her. I brought the wheelchair forward as Jayne went to the door to hurry us along. River started talking frantically about something coming when you call.

We hurried through the halls, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, Jayne and Simon bickering the whole way to the back exit. As we approached the door to outside something didn't feel right and I slowed down. The River braced up and started talking in a hurry.

"No, no, I can't go back. I don't wanna go back."

Simon tried to calm her.

"Shh-shh-shh. It's okay. We're just going back to the ship. We're almost home."

I could feel it clear as my own thought that she felt like we were going back to the Academy.

Jayne held the door for us. The moment we cleared the door way outside we heard the loud voice.

"Federal Marshals! Don't move!"

The then words we'd been dreading for months came from the man descending the stairs.

"River and Simon Tam and Aurora Stark, by the authority of the Union of Allied Planets you are hereby bound by law."

It felt like a door slamming shut in my face.

They put all four of us in handcuffs and started to lead Simon, River and myself away. I saw Jayne yank away from one of the marshals and then get blasted onto his back with one of their stunners. We were lined up and sat on a bench across from a desk.

Simon said quietly to Jayne, "If those officers hadn't been armed, I think you'd have had a chance."

"A guy shoves me, I shove him. Not like I was trying to mount a rescue."

"Still I appreciate you trying."

"You know what I'd appreciate? You stop flapping that pretty mouth at me. I'm trying to figure a way out of here; can't do it with you yammering."

"Don't bother. There's no escaping this." I said, quietly.

Before they could respond to me, River started talking about Christmas. It didn't make any sense, even to me.

Simon got up in the Feds face when he ordered us to move but wouldn't tell us where or why. I had this deep sense of dread but I was proud of my cousin for sticking up for us. We were pushed and lead down a series of corridors. They had Jayne in front followed by me, then Simon and River. The first guard pushed Jayne in through the tight doorway of the holding cell. I stopped short and the second guard gave me a shove to the back and I stumbled through the door. Just as Simon and River were guided in by the third Fed Jayne elbowed the first guy in the face. I saw the upswing and at the same time aimed a kick to the chin of the second Fed and Jayne kicked the third guard in the gut and sent him back into the wall where he dropped his stunner. The chaos that ensued was ugly.

Simon threw himself at Fed 3 and they both fell to the ground. Jayne was on the ground with the first guy and got his cuffed hands out in front of him. The two were rolling on the floor when Fed 2 recovered from the kick to the chin and made to grab me from behind. I threw my head back and caught a glancing blow to his nose but it was enough to release his hold. Simon knelt on Fed 3's chest, cutting off his air supply. He stopped fighting about the same moment that Jayne snapped the first guard's neck and I delivered a well placed round house kick to the side of the second guard's head which smacked off the wall behind him and he landed in a heap on the floor. My round house had me tipped off balance with my arms locked behind me and I stumbled backwards trying to right myself but Jayne caught me from behind and stood me straight.

Jayne grabbed the keys off one of the belts and unlocked our cuffs. Simon picked up the forgotten stunner an handed it to Jayne and lead the way out of the holding cell. Simon and River went left and Jayne went right to go out the way we came in. Simon and Jayne argued a moment about which way to go. Suddenly, I froze next to River. She said, "It doesn't matter."

I said quietly, "They're here."

And that's when we heard the screams. River began to cry and back way. I stood frozen in the doorway with fear, both my own, River's and what felt like others', washing over me.

"Two by two. Hands of blue." I whispered and then looked over at River who had said the same thing as she backed away from the screams. She began to rush away with me quick on her heels. Her and I pushed on a heavy metal door and it creaked open to an expansive, metal lined room. I could hear Jayne asking Simon where we were going behind me. In truth I didn't know for sure but we had to get out and my gut was telling me to stay with River. We heard more screaming then and that put an end to Jayne wanting to go back the way we came.

"Two by two. Hands of blue."

As we rushed down two flight of stairs River started muttering, "Almost there. Almost there."

We reached a door and River stopped short.

"There."

Jayne tried the handle.

"Stand back."

Simon shielded River as Jayne aimed the stunner at the door which ultimately did nothing. Cussing at it he began to us it to beat the door handle. I stared at the ceiling whispering, "Two by two. Hands of blue." until we heard a gunshot and the lock and handle flew off the door. It slammed open to reveal Mal and Zoe on the other side.

The ambulance ride back to Serenity was silent and tense but I was too drained to care and my head hurt. It was crowded in the small vehicle. Wash was flying and Zoe sat up behind him. Mal an Simon sat in the area close to the loading door with River tucked close to Simon. I sat next to Jayne in the rear part of the aircraft. It was noisy and my head was throbbing. I didn't give it a second thought and just leaned over and rested my head on Jayne's shoulder. He stiffened a moment but didn't say anything or pull away.

Once aboard Serenity we all piled out into the cargo bay. I was the last out and I heard Mal and Inara talking. He'd asked how her exam went.

"As advertised, lots of needles and cold exam tables. I heard you had some excitement."

"Oh, nothing much. Lots of running around, little gunplay. A couple needles."

Mal brushed it off as he walked back over to the rest of us. Jayne was saying, "Next time we come to the Core, I'm staying with the preacher."

Mal clapped him on the arm and said, "Oh if you hadn't come, you wouldn't be getting your big payday."

Mal hugged Kaylee to him and asked Simon, "So, you get what you needed?"

Simon explained that he'd downloaded everything and was hopeful. That's when Kaylee noticed the goose egg on Jayne's forehead. He tried to brush it off but Simon said, "He was amazing. I can't even begin to tell you."

He gripped Jayne's shoulder and said, "We wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for him. Thank you."

Jayne seemed uncomfortable when he said, "Hey you're part of my crew."

"I think I might cry." Mal deadpanned.

Everyone laughed.

"All right. Jayne, help me with the cargo. Everyone make yourselves useful. You got jobs. Go do them."

We all scattered then. I went to my bunk to get out of my flight suit and find something for my headache.

About 10 minutes after we broke atmo I made my way back to the hold to find my jump bag that was still in the ambulance. It was setting just by the door and I swung it over my shoulder and turned to head back up the stairs when I saw something sitting on the porthole of the airlock door. I walked over and picked it up. It was a two way radio. Confused, I looked around. I keyed it up to see if I could hear the other one. I heard static coming from what sounded like in the airlock. I heard movement and then saw Jayne stand up in the airlock. I rushed over and hit the button and the door ground open enough for him to get through and I shut it again.

I opened my mouth to ask him why he was in the airlock but no words came as I was flooded with overwhelming guilt and a virtual slideshow of images leaving no doubt in my mind as to what happened. I just stood there staring at the merc for what felt like hours but was only a moment. I blinked once and then turned and walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

The days passed much as they usually did aboard Serenity. The crew had a little extra money after the job on Ariel and everyone was quite content. Jayne bought a crate of apples and shared it with all of us. I avoided Jayne almost completely. I stopped showing up to our training sessions. He didn't mention it but then again the only time we spent more than a few seconds in the same room was meal times. I spent most of my time training myself to block out all the thought and emotions of others. I had a pretty good handle on it around the time we set up our last drop of goods.

I wandered into the galley to find a bowl full of apples sitting on the table and Kaylee and River coming in from the other side of the room. Kaylee grabbed an apple and River snatched it out of her hand and took off running. The screeching and giggling echoed throughout the ship and I couldn't help but smile as I took a seat at the table with my pocket knife, a rag and a whet stone.

I heard Mal holler,

"One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up!"

Was and Zoe sat down at the end of the table. River came running in with Kaylee hot on her heels. They ran around the game table and Kaylee caught River's arm and snagged the fruit out of her hand amidst another wave of giggles. Kaylee held the apple above her head and proclaimed,

"No power in the 'verse can stop me."

Zoe picked up an apple, admiring it.

"These really are the genuine article. I could get used to being rich."

"It's Jayne being so generous with his cut that confuses and frightens me."

"It does kind of freeze the blood."

Kaylee was inquiring why Zoe and Mal always cut their fresh fruit when Jayne entered answering Zoe's question about Griswold's.

"It's a grenade."

I attempted to open my mind to read Zoe's as she told the story about the war. Her memories were vivid and it made me feel even more respect and awe towards this incredible woman. Jayne leaned over and skewered an apple with his stiletto as Kaylee grasped the jist of Zoe's story.

"Blew off their heads, huh?

"Cap'n said wait but they were so hungry. Don't make much noise. just little pops and there's three guys that kinda just end at the rib cage.

Later in the day as Wash brought us to land on a barren scrap of desert for our last drop I could feel anger radiating through the ship. I had become fairly practiced at closing off my mind to other's emotions but this was strong and it was coming from Wash.

I had taken up residence on the cat walk, my legs hanging over the edge and leaning on the lower rail. I had an apple and I was peeling the skin off with my pocket knife and eating it off the blade. Jayne walked into the bay from beneath me and made his way toward the bench. he moved some equipment around. After a few minutes he looked up to see me sitting there. I sliced another piece off my apple and ate it from my blade. I flipped the knife closed with ease and stood and walked away. one thought ghosted through, _'Gorram that's hot'_ and it made me shiver for a multitude of reasons.

Cap'n had ordered all of us to stay away from the cargo bay as Inara was entertaining a client here and wished privacy. Of course that meant Jayne an Kaylee were posted at the door hoping to catch a glimpse. Kaylee and Book's reactions to the Councilwoman were entertaining. Jayne's was painful, though logically I knew better it still stung when he said in that gravelly voice, "I'll be in my bunk."

A couple of hours passed quietly aboard Serenity. Book and Jayne were at the weight bench as I stepped through the doorway in time to see Inara bid the Councilwoman farewell. I immediately felt the desire radiating off Jayne followed by disgust from Inara when she caught him staring.

"I'll be in my bunk."

He turned to leave and we came face to face. Before either of us could speak Zoe spoke from above.

"Jayne grab your weapon."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Maybe nothing, maybe trouble."

"The drop?"

"They're late. They shoulda been back more than an hour ago. We go by ground. We'll take the Mule."

Book volunteered to go with.

"No offense Shepherd but I sure as hell hope they don't need a preacher."

"Three sets of eyes are better than two. Might see something you don't."

"Let's move."

When the three met at the bay doors with the Mule prepped I was waiting for them with my jump bag. Zoe just looked the question at me and I said, "Just in case."

She nodded and we climbed on the Mule and took off across the desert. I sat up on the front deck while Jayne drove and Zoe and Book were on the back deck.

As we got close to the drop area Jayne began to ease off the throttle. From my vantage point I could see the bodies strewn across the sand and the tipped over box. I leapt off the Mule before it stopped and took off running, praying to whatever shiny God was out there that none of the bodies was Wash or Mal. I dropped to my knees and skidded to a halt next to the closest body and heaved it onto its back, instantly relieved that it wasn't our Captain or Pilot. Jayne flipped another body.

"None of 'em's ours."

Boom examined the other body.

"This is precision work: sharpshooters. From the look of these wounds, I'd say a 54-R sniper rifle, laser sights."

"You do a lot of shooting at the abbey there, Shepherd?"

"Rabbits." Book replied dryly.

"For stew, sure."

Jayne picked a couple guns and ammunition off Bosch and his men. Zoe looked at the box with its contents spilled out.

"Whoever did this, they weren't after the goods."

Jayne was surveying the area and started to move up the hill with us a few steps behind. I saw the scorched earth that had his attention.

"We ain't gonna find 'em here. They're off planet already. Only one type of transport I know makes a mark like this."

"Fast burn rocket shuttle."

"Craft like that not commonly part of a ship," Book pointed out. "More likely we're looking at-"

"Space station." Zoe supplied.

"Yeah."

I could hear the worry in her voice when she said, "I know who's got 'em."

The dread hit e like a truck when I realized who she thought took the men. I cast out in a vain attempt to sense either of their minds.

We grabbed the box of meds and found the shuttle a short ways away. Jayne and I muscled the Mule into the shuttle and we hightailed it back to Serenity.

We all pooled our money and gave it to Zoe to take to Niska and try and buy Wash and Mal back. Zoe took the bag of cash and took the shuttle to Niska's space station. I sat up on the bridge staring at the black, waiting to see that little shuttle return. It was a rush of relief and fear when I caught that first glimpse of the shuttle. I rushed from the bridge to meet the shuttle when it docked. Reaching out I could feel Zoe and Wash but not Mal. Everyone gathered outside the air lock. Wash was the first out and I stepped forward for him to lean on me as Zoe followed him out and the questions flowed. I helped Wash walk forward even as he refused Simon's help. Zoe and I helped Wash up the stairs without a word.

Wash sat at the table while Zoe went to their bunk. I cleaned and put burn gel on the electrical burns on our pilot's chest. Zoe returned with a clean shirt and small arsenal. As the two prepared for battle, I picked up one of the holsters with a small pistol and put it around my waist. Zoe looked up at me and I said, "What? You think I'm going to let y'all go rescue Cap'n alone? Besides, every proper assault team needs a medic."

Zoe just nodded and handed me a second pistol, the relief evident in her movements. Jayne stood in the doorway, eating an apple, telling us this plan was suicide.

As we made our way toward the cargo bay, Zoe gave us instructions to let her lead. Stepping through the door we found the rest of the crew at the weapons locker. Simon said, "We're going with you."

Kaylee made the point, "If it was any one of us, Cap'n wouldn't hesitate."

Book pulled a rifle out and said, "This should do."

"Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?"

Book loaded the magazine and replied, "Quite specific. It is however somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."

Zoe couldn't help but smile as she said, "If you're looking for me to talk you out of it..."

We all looked up at the click of a cocking mechanism to see Jayne, armed to the teeth, standing above us. Despite his betrayal, that sight gave me chills. Zoe smiled.

"Let's go get the Captain."

We developed a new plan on the fly. As Wash set up Serenity for our dead stick float into the space station, Kaylee rigged our airlock with Simon's help and Book and I rigged a spare oxygen tank to the front of the Mule to be a distraction. Zoe and Jayne came down the steps.

"Book, AJ, you good?"

"Yes, ma'am." I responded.

Book said, "Ready when you are."

Kaylee said, "Pretty sure this should pop their airlock doors if Wash can get a seal on his first try."

Jayne said, "I'm smellin' a lot of 'if' coming off this plan."

Zoe shot back with, "You coulda stayed in your bunk."

"Coulda, shoula, woulda." Jayne sneered as he cocked Vera as Wash came downstairs.

"We're set."

"Ok people. If it moves, shoot it."

"Unless it's the Captain!"

"Unless it's the Captain."

We all took up positions to the sides of the airlock doors to prepare for impact.

As soon as we hit the space station I bolted across to the Mule and fired it up and turned on the bright lights as Kaylee fired up the flood lights in the bay. I revved up the Mule and put it in gear as the door opened. The alarm started blaring and the station door opened to show three men. They were blinded by the light momentarily and I released the brake on the Mule and jumped back. They fired blindly and I felt a big hand squeeze my upper arm and yank me out of the line of fire. I collided with solid muscle as the tank on the front of the Mule erupted in flames. Jayne and Zoe rushed forward, firing at the men rushing forward. Wash and I came up behind them as Zoe tossed a grenade down the hall. Zoe called for the second team. Book, Simon and Kaylee hurried forward and Zoe stressed the need to hold this spot. Book took one of Niska's men down by the knee.

Jayne moved down the hall firing with Zoe, Wash and I close behind. He took cover and Zoe moved ahead. She dodged a hail of bullets and Jayne moved forward with cover fire. We all took cover and Jayne laid down fire to try to suppress the barrage but took a round to the upper arm. Zoe hit the ground to dodge and came up drawing her two pistols from their shoulder holsters and let loose a flurry that took down the last in our way in this section. We rushed down the hall and I heard a voice not my own in my head and spun around just in time to see three men converging behind us. I fired and took down all three, much to my own surprise. Jayne hollered, "Get behind us, Preacher. We need cover."

Zoe, Jayne and Wash entered the torture chamber with me bringing up the rear. Movement to the left caught my eye and I saw Niska sneaking down the hallway. Without a second thought. I went after him. He obviously didn't hear me behind him because he turned to look over his shoulder and the surprise and fear in him was palpable. We'd reached the end of the hall and he rushed and fumbled to get the door open before I reached him. He failed and I grabbed him by the collar of his expensive suit and threw him at the wall where I cornered him. He was visibly shaking in fear and began to talk very fast in a language I didn't understand but I got the sense he was begging me not to hurt him. As a medic, I should feel guilty about what happened next but with a man like Niska I don't feel anything but justified.

I reached out and wrapped my hand around his throat. He shut up immediately and stopped moving, frozen in fear. In a calm, quiet voice I said, "You are an evil man, Niska. Men like you should be fed to Reavers. You deserve more than this pain but, " I smiled humorlessly and he began to shake again, "I'm a merciful woman."

Without warning, I stuck my pocket knife into his gut. He cried out and I squeezed his throat to silence him. I turned his head to make him look at me and said, "That was for Wash."

I repeated the action a little higher and twisted a bit and he groaned and I said, "That was for Mal."

Putting the knife away and releasing his throat I said, quietly, as I put my hands on his face, "And this is for every other soul you have ever tortured."

The fear in his eyes was potent and then gone as I snapped his neck and he fell limp to the floor.

I stood staring at the body in front of me for a split second then turned and ran back down the hall. I came through the doorway to see Mal stumbling back into the room through a shattered window. I rushed passed Wash and caught him under the arms before he face planted. Zoe helped me guide him to the couch and I gently unwound the wires from around his neck. There was a wound on his chest that was bleeding profusely. I swung my jump bag off my back and quickly fished out gauze and tape to hold pressure and stop the bleeding while we got back to Serenity. I held pressure against the gauze for a moment and looked at Mal.

"You good to make it back to the ship, Cap'n."

He just nodded and I looked to Zoe and Wash who helped him stand. I packed my jump bag up and noticed a familiar bag sitting on the floor next to me. It was the money we had sent Zoe with. I snatched it up and shoved it in my bag and hurried after the rest of the crew. Jayne led the way back, clearing each intersection. We only encountered one of Niska's goons and Jayne dispatched him almost before the rest of us noticed he was there. Book, Simon, Kaylee and River were waiting at the ramp when we arrived. I took Wash's position on Mal's left side and he hurried off to get us as far from this godforsaken space garbage as possible.

Mal groaned as Zoe and I helped him lean back on the exam table. I threw my jump bag in the corner and grabbed a pair of shears to cut away the rest of Mal's wrecked shirt and the hasty bandage on his chest. I could feel Kaylee worrying by the door. Without turning I said, "Kaylee."

"Mmm."

She was distracted. I turned to catch her eye.

"Kaylee can you do me a favor for the Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to wave Inara and ask her if there is any way she can pull some strings with the Councilor to get some equipment borrowed."

She looked confused.

"Simon is going to need a dermal mender to put Cap'n's ear back on properly or we're going to have to stitch it."

"Oh. Okay."

She turned and disappeared in the direction of the bridge. A few moments later Wash appeared in her place. I could see the adrenaline starting to wear off as he leaned against the door frame. Simon injected Mal with a pain killer and I doused his chest and ear with disinfectant so Simon could begin stitching up the deepest wounds. Zoe was still in warrior mode and hadn't quite yet noticed her husband starting to crash. His eyes were intent on her as she hovered trying to help Simon. I gently put a hand on his arm to get his attention. He looked at me and I could feel the exhaustion rolling off him in waves. I said quietly, "Let me fix you up."

"No, the Captain."

"Simon can handle Mal."

I picked up my bag and called to Zoe.

"Can you help Wash to your bunk so he can rest while I patch him up?"

She was immediately at his side. I followed them down the hall and down the ladder.

I could feel an almost nervous energy from Zoe as she sat at the edge of the bed while I cleaned and bandaged her husband. As soon as I was done I turned to her and she looked slightly confused.

"Your arm."

She looked down as if she hadn't noticed the wound. After cleaning and wrapping the graze and packing my gear I said quietly to Zoe, because Wash was asleep, "Stay with your husband and get some rest. I'll look after everything for a few hours, okay? Cap'n and Serenity will be fine."

She nodded and I could hear her crawl into bed as I made the top of the ladder and closed the hatch.

Stepping into the infirmary I could tell Simon was just about finished with Mal, at least until we knew about the dermal mender. Mal appeared to be asleep so I spoke quietly.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine. I gave him something to sleep to make it easier. He should wake in a couple hours and then Inara should be here with the dermal mender."

"Oh shiny. I patched up Wash and Zoe. I told them to get some rest and I'd look after everything for a bit. I came to restock my bag though, cuz I have to go see to Jayne."

Simon gave me a questioning look.

"He took one to the shoulder and he's so big."

Simon nodded.

"Mhm."

Standing in front of the hatch, I took a deep breath and used the toe of my book to knock.

"Who is it?"

"AJ."

The hatch popped open to reveal Jayne standing at the bottom of the ladder with his shirt up over his left shoulder and what appeared to be a clumsy attempt at a bandage.

"What'd ya want?"

I just held up my jump bag and said, "That's damn near impossible to do one handed."

He just stepped back from the ladder and I dropped down with a quiet thud. He looked unsure of himself. Taking another deep breath I put myself back in Medic Mode. Gently but firmly, I instructed the hulking merc to sit. I set my kit on the bed next to him and pulled on a pair of gloves. I eased the shirt away from the wound to get a good look. I knew this was going to get a little messy.

"You might want to take the shirt off. I don't want to ruin it while cleaning this."

"'s already ruined." he scoffed but removed the shirt.

I set about cleaning the rather jagged graze. It took me a good five minutes of flushing and poking and prodding but Jayne was a surprisingly good patient. The wound was oozing blood a bit after I removed all the clots so I pressed gauze against it. I was very close at this point, using both hands to hold pressure on the gauze. Jayne was still radiating unease so I seized the opportunity. In a quiet voice I said, "I know what you did on Ariel."

He stiffened but I continued.

"I understand why you did it. I know Mal knows but I haven't said anything to anyone, nor will I. I forgive you for what happened. You redeemed yourself in my eyes when you helped get us out. And as your Medic you are always safe in my hands. But beyond that I hope we can put Ariel behind us and be crew mates maybe even friends."

I pulled the gauze away and took a step back and began bandaging his arm. He was silent as I taped down the gauze and packed up my bag. I set my hand on his shoulder, purely for my own benefit, and said, "Leave this on until tomorrow. Come find me and I can change it for you."

He nodded and I made my way to the ladder. Two steps up and I heard a quiet, "Thank you." in a gruff voice. I leaned down to smile and then continued on my way.

About three hours later I was able to smoothly set Serenity down on an isolated piece of desert to rendezvous with Inara's shuttle. I left the bridge and was met by Wash climbing out of his bunk. He smiled and threw an arm around me as we headed toward the galley.

"You're a natural."

I blushed and he squeezed my shoulders and continued, "It's a good thing you're such a good medic or I might be out of a job."

I laughed.

"There is no way Mal would ever replace you. I think Zoe would keel haul him if he even considered it."

Wash laughed and then stopped with a hand on his chest.

"Oh, don't make me laugh." He half chuckled half groaned.

I met Simon and Inara in the cargo bay and helped carry the equipment up to the infirmary where the Captain had just woke up. I assisted Simon with reattaching Mal's ear and then cleaned up the infirmary while Simon took the equipment back to the cargo bay. Book was helping dismantle the equipment as Inara watched when the Captain and I walked in. Mal asked, "You sure this thing's gonna stay on?"

Simon looked up.

"Well, this dermal mender creates an excellent tissue bond. It should be fine. Just don't - don't fiddle with it."

Mal shrugged and let go of his ear as he turned to Inara.

"Be sure to, uh, thank the counselor for me. Awful nice for her to pull some strings and lend us this equipment."

"It's the lease she could do."

I didn't hear the rest of their conversation as I heard River's thoughts in my head. They were very disorganized but they painted a picture of Kaylee getting pinned down by Niska's goons and River shooting them when Kaylee freaked. I looked up to see River up on the catwalk but was once again distracted as Mal stood next to me and put his arm on my shoulder while talking to the three of us.

"So, I hear y'all took up arms in that little piece of action back there. How you faring with that, Doctor?"

Simon considered it a moment.

"I don't know. I never shot anyone before."

Book clapped Simon on the shoulder as he said, "I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet."

Cap'n chuckled painfully and looked down at me and asked, "How 'bout you little one?"

"You're my Captain. Whatever it takes, sir."

He smiled in a warm way as if he hadn't expected that and squeezed my shoulders before turning to head up the stairs, squeezing Kaylee's hand as he passed her on the steps.


	11. Chapter 11

I was surprised when Jayne came to see me the next evening before dinner. he knocked on the door to my room.

"Come in."

He filled the doorway and seemed a bit out of place.

"Oh hello Jayne. You here about the bandage?"

"Yes'm."

"Okay. Come, sit here and I'll take a look."

When I turned back to him with my gloves on he had removed his shirt and it gave me pause and took every bit of professionalism I had in me not to stare blatantly. Getting the edge of the tape I warned,

"Okay this is gonna hurt."

He raised an eyebrow skeptically. I yanked the tape off in one swift, practiced move and Jayne hollered,

"Gorram it, girl!"

I suppressed a chuckle.

After putting antibiotic on I told him it was healing well and I wouldn't bandage it again.

"Come see me if it gets red or swollen or starts to hurt more. Otherwise you are good to go."

I turned to pack my bag and heard him stand. He didn't move so I turned to see him standing with his shirt in his hand looking uncertain.

"Jayne?"

"I'm sorry. I got stupid an' greedy..."

I stepped forward and put a hand on his bare chest to get him to look at me.

"Thank you for apologizing. It's behind us now. I forgive you."

He let out a big breath and smiled slightly. I gave him a bright smile in return and he stepped out the door. I turned back to my bag and was packing it when I noticed the bag of money shoved in one of the side pockets. I pulled it out and was looking as it when I heard Kaylee's voice calling everyone to dinner.

Everyone took their places at the table. Captain at the end, Jayne to one side, me next to him, Zoe and Wash across from us, Book next to them and Kaylee and Inara at the other end with Simon and River filling in next to me. Before everyone settled I said,

"In all the commotion I forgot about this until I found it in my bag a few minutes ago."

I tossed the bag on the table and everyone was quiet a moment before joy was everywhere and we split the money back up before digging into food. Jayne nudged me while we were eating and said quietly,

"Good one."

I smiled back at him.

As dinner wound down, talk turned back to the money and what had happened yesterday. Zoe said,

"What happened to Niska? Did anyone see him?"

Mal said, "He got away before you all found me."

"No he didn't."

You could have heard a pin drop. I looked up to find all eyes on me. I swallowed my drink as Zoe asked without asking,

"You?"

I nodded and said,

"He's dead. He won't torture anyone again."

There were questions in everyone's eyes so I continued,

"I saw him trying to get away when we were clearing the doorway to where we found Cap'n and I went after him. I couldn't let him hurt anyone again and I made sure he knew he was paying for his crimes against humanity. I know I should feel horrible about causing harm to another human but after patching y'all up after all he did I don't feel an ounce of guilt. He was evil."

Quiet hung in the air for a moment. Mal and Wash both nodded to me with a look of relief and almost gratitude. I reached out and was surprised when I found no judgment or disdain from anyone, including Shepherd Book.

About three weeks went by before we got our next big job lined up. Jayne and I got back into our routine of training together. Simon fumbled about around Kaylee. River was slightly more stable. Inara and Mal continued to dance around each other. We'd picked up a couple of small smuggling runs on some of the back water moons, enough to keep us flying but nothing of any substance. Then Mal got us a big smuggling gig. It was one leg of a route but it was a big haul and big money.

We got the call from mal for the pickup and Wash set Serenity gently on that empty scrap of desert. Jayne hit the button for the ramp and we all gathered to help load the cargo.

"Whoa, Cap. Don't tell me you got into a fight with Monty."

Mal was walking up with tissue stuffed up his nose and blood on his face. Kaylee sounded concerned,

"Oh, really? But I thought we loved Monty."

She hurried to Zoe to confirm,

"We love Monty, don't we?"

Zoe, watching Cap'n storm away said, "Sweetie, if he had a tussle with that Sasquatch, we'd all be in the dirt right about now, scoopin' up the Captain's teeth. Ain't that so, sir?"

Mal was halfway up the stairs.

"You know what? I don't particularly wanna talk about it. We go work to do. Let's shut up and do it."

Wash started talking to Mal before he turned around,

"Inara was asking for you. Wanted-"

He was cut off by the look on Mal's face as he continued to storm up the stairs.

"So later with the talking then."

I followed Mal toward his bunk. He slammed the hatch open angrily. I followed him down the ladder and he turned, surprised and about to start hollering before he recognized me. he sighed and dropped onto his cot in defeat. I went to work assessing the damage, which was minimal and cleaning up the blood. I finished and looked at my Captain and said,

"So what is the plan?"

He feigned confusion a moment. He took a deep breath blew it out in frustration and then divulged what had happened with Monty and that Saffron was stowed in one of the cargo boxes and she had a job, possibly. I just nodded and said,

"All right. Let's get to it."

Cap'n convinced the crew of this rather ridiculous plan and we set to work fooling the psychopath we knew as Saffron. We agreed that Simon, River and I would stay confined to our rooms for the duration to avoid any complications should she recognize us for who we were, wanted fugitives.

Jayne brought some supplies to River's room where she and Simon would be holed up until this job was over. I stood in the door listening before entering my room across the way. River said,

"She's a liar."

Jayne responded with, "Well that don't exactly set her apart from the rest of us. Plunder sounds fun enough."

"She's a liar and no good will come of her."

"Well as a rule I say girl folk ain't to be trusted."

River smiled and cocker her head at him saying,

"Jayne is a girl's name."

He instantly got defensive,

"Jayne ain't a girl. She starts in on that girl's name thing I'll show her good and all I got man parts."

He had his hand down his pants when I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him as I tried not to laugh. Simon said,

"I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder but it's not coming."

Jayne smirked and stood, ducking backward out the door. He snidely showed them a deck of cards telling them he was going to leave it before closing the door. He shoved the deck in his pocket and turned to hand me the other bag of supplies. I hugged him, much to his surprise. He awkwardly pat me on the back and then left. I smiled to myself and slid the door back open. Stepping in and closing the door behind me I tossed the deck of cards on the bed. Simon looked at it, then me and asked how I got that. I smirked and said,

"My feminine powers of persuasion."

Simon balked and I laughed.

"I'm kidding. I pick pocketed him."

River said quietly, "He's afraid."

Simon looked back at her.

"We'll be okay. Why the Captain is trusting that..."

River interrupted his string of Chinese insults.

"Not her. Jayne."

Simon scoffed.

"Afraid? Since when?"

I added,

"Since Ariel."

River continued,

"Afraid we'll know."

Simon began to understand then.

It took him a few minutes but that was how Simon found out River and I were readers. I know he didn't understand it at all or even fully believe it but at least he accepted it. In the end he just said,

"Well you both have always been very intuitive."

I laughed a bit at that and hugged him.

After that unplanned conversation I snuck out and over to my room. I spent the time reading; I'm a big fan of Earth-that-was history and bad romance novels. Shepherd had taught me a bit about meditation which I was practicing to help hone this gift or curse; I wasn't quite sure which it was yet but I'd be damned if I let it control me.

I heard Inara's shuttle depart just after entering atmo. Not long after I heard shuttle 2 take off and I risked it and left my room and headed for the bridge. Zoe was standing with Wash as he brought Serenity up under Haymer's estate. According to the plan Kaylee and Jayne would be climbing out the top hatch any moment now.

Sure enough Jayne's voice came through the radio,

"All right, we're planted. Take her up."

The tension in the cockpit was palpable as Wash fought to keep the big ship steady and not wreck it. The feat was incredible and I'm positive no one but Wash could have accomplished it. Then things got even more stressful when Jayne crossed wires or something and electrocuted himself. We all heard the thud on the roof when he landed and Zoe and I rushed to the hatch where Shepherd met us.

Book and I caught the unconscious merc as Zoe and Kaylee lowered him down the ladder using his safety harness. We stumbled under his dead weight. Book exclaimed,

"This boy weighs a solid ton."

As he struggled to hold him he lost his balance and grip and I ended up tumbling forward with a falling Jayne. He landed flat on his back, mercifully for him, and I landed square on his chest. I pushed all inappropriate thought from my mind as Zoe said,

"Doctor, you got yourself a patient to see to."

Then she climbed out to help Kaylee.

It was an interesting challenge getting the hulking mercenary from the hatch down to the infirmary. I had learned a long time ago that moving unconscious humans was always a struggle. Before we moved him I had Book and Simon take his safety harness off him and we put it back on him backwards using it to strap his arms to his chest. Then Simon and book each took a shoulder and one of the waist straps on the harness and I stepped between his legs and wrapped a hand under each knee and we gave it all we had. I knew I'd be feeling it tomorrow but so would Jayne.

I left Simon to care for Jayne and went to the bridge. I arrived just as Zoe called the all clear and Wash took off across the ocean towards the desert. Zoe and Kaylee joined us a few minutes later and it was about then that Wash realized something was wrong.

"Can't turn."

He muttered as he flipped switches.

"What?

"Can't turn. Not getting any tug from the aft alternator."

"That don't make no sense. Unless-"

It dawned on Kaylee midsentence and we all rushed to the engine room. Once confirmed, Kaylee started swearing. She told Zoe and Wash we'd have to land to fit it so I got on the Cortex and waved Inara to send her into position for Plan B.

Jayne came to while we were parked as Kaylee fixed the engine. I stood in a corner where he couldn't see me as Simon explained to him what had happened and that he knew of his betrayal on Ariel. Simon stepped out of the room and River leaned further around the door and said,

"Also, I can kill you with my brain."

His eyes widened in fear. I stood quietly in the corner watching him until the motor blocker took back over and he fell back asleep and I slipped silently out the door.

When Kaylee finally got Serenity up and running we picked Mal up, who, for reasons guessed but unconfirmed, was naked. Wash took us out of the world and it was about that time I heard the clatter from the infirmary and knew Jayne was awake. I stopped in front of the door to find him on the floor and obviously in some pain. I just said a quiet,

"Oh, darlin'"

And he looked up as I walked over to help him stand. I took his arm over my shoulders and helped him to his bunk without a word. I helped him settle on his bed and then removed the soft collar as that was mostly to scare him. I couldn't resist and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead and said,

"Just rest. You're gonna hurt for a while from this. Let it heal."

And I climbed out.

We were all glad to be rid of Saffron. I was especially relieved that she hadn't tried to seduce anyone this time.

Despite my advice, I found Jayne doing pull ups late in the evening the next day. I just sighed and took a seat on his weight bench to chat with him. He didn't do as much as usual and an hour later found us sitting facing each other on the bench as he told me stories about his family. As we stood to call it a night I looked at him and said,

"You're family sounds lovely. I'd love to meet them one day."

And we went our separate ways to bed. That night I had vivid dreams of Jayne and his mother and me and his sister. Just before I woke I saw a picture hanging on a wall in a house. As I stepped closer it was a picture of Jayne and a woman. He had his arm wrapped around her and was smiling down at her. Suddenly it hit me that the woman was me. I woke with a start. After catching my breath I told myself to reel in my imagination and laid back down to sleep. My dreams weren't exactly innocent after that but I didn't wake again until morning.


	12. Chapter 12

We got a Wave a few weeks later from Amnon about post for the crew. I was a little excited because I had never been to a spaceplex before. When we docked Mal gave us instructions as we needed to pick up supplies. He told us that as soon as that was done we could wander as we wished and meet at the post office. Simon, Kaylee, Wash and Zoe ended up at one of those 'aliens among us' side shows. River followed Preacher to one of the food vendors and I just ended up following Jayne. He was tasked, as usual, with resupplying munitions.

I wandered about the little shop as Jayne negotiated with the clerk. As the clerk went about filling the order Jayne found me in the back inspecting the selection of weapons. He cleared his throat and I looked up to see a questioning look on his face. I ignored it and asked,

"In your professional opinion," which made him raise an eyebrow, "what would be my best option? I'd like something small and relatively easily concealable. But I need reliable."

He looked at me a moment longer then his gaze drifted over the handguns. After a minute's contemplation he removed one from the display and handed it to me. I immediately liked the weight in my hand. I held it a moment and Jayne said, a bit hesitantly,

"I can teach ya ta shoot. If ya want."

I smiled at the sweet suggestion and dropped the magazine and racked the slide in a fluid, practiced movement. Clearly he didn't know I was carrying when we rescued Mal from Niska. The slight astonishment on his face was priceless. I said,

"Government trained assassin, remember?"

I winked at him. He must have thought I was joking because he relaxed then and smiled. I had meant it as a joke but I had come to the conclusion through much research and a little hacking that assassin was the most logical outcome of what the Academy was doing to River, myself and the others.

"I like it."

We headed to the front of the shop to collect our order and for me to purchase my new gun. Once all said and done Jayne and I collected the boxes and set off to meet the rest of the crew.

We came to the post office just after the others arrived. River was attempting, rather unsuccessfully, to eat an ice planet. As we passed she was looking at it saying,

"My food is problematic."

Jayne commented,

"Girl's a mind-reading genius, can't even figure out how to eat a ice planet."

Amnon wheeled out a big crate then.

"This one's addressed to you and Zoe, Mal."

Mal glanced at it and remarked,

"I don't remember ordering any parts."

"The little one's for Cobb."

He seemed surprised, "I got post?"

He scooped it up and Preacher joked, "Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that?"

We all laughed a bit.

"Ha ha. It's from my mother."

My heart melted a little at that.

Inara came around to Kaylee's side and asked,

"So. Do aliens live among us?"

Deadpan, Kaylee said,

"Yeah. One of them's a doctor."

Inara gave her a sympathetic smile and put her arm around her shoulders as Jayne began to read his mother's note aloud.

"My dear boy, I hope you are well and that you get this soon in your tra...vels." he stumbled on it but corrected himself.

"Travels. Thank you for the credits you forwarded. They have helped, as Mattie is still sick with the 'dap long'. I made the enclos- Oh! Enclosed."

He got all excited and dug further in the box and pulled out a knitted hat of orange and yellow with ear flaps and a tassel on top. He immediately put it on his head and continued reading.

"...enclosed to keep you warm in your travels. Hope to hear from you soon. Love, your mother."

He looked around at us and asked,

"How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't cha think?"

Kaylee, ever the sweetheart, said,

"I think it's the sweetest hat ever."

Wash, ever the sass master, said,

"Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything."

Even though Wash was being snide Jayne said,

"Damn straight!" with pride.

Zoe and Mal got the top off the crate then to reveal what looked like a coffin. A sense of foreboding and secrecy washed over me then. They lifted the lid and things got weird when the body of Mal and Zoe's war buddy was inside. I missed a lot of what happened next as I just stared at the body and couldn't get over the feeling that something was very wrong here. I saw memories from Zoe and Mal with this man, Tracey, from the war.

Jayne brought me back to reality with a soft bump and I helped gather the ammo boxes and headed for the ship. Once aboard and back on course we all gathered in the cargo bay.

Simon's offer of a proper autopsy was met with indignation from Kaylee. Simon seemed so confused. I was having a hard time blocking out all the emotions of all the crew. Zoe pulled a recorder from Tracey's hands. Listening to the message touched us all. At the mention of family Jayne removed his hat in respect. Wash stood with his head bowed. As soon as the message stopped Wash moved toward the stairs. Mal questioned, "Wash?"

"St. Albans ain't but a two-day ride, if we burn hard enough."

Inara dismissed Mal's concern for her schedule.

I kept to myself for the rest of the day and that evening. All the talk of family lately had me feeling more than a little left out and lonely. I had this idealistic vision of what family should be and I didn't even have a dysfunctional version of it. My biological family, well they couldn't give a houzi de pigu what happened to me. Telling them I wanted to be a paramedic was shameful enough. Then I went and refused to marry some influential politician's son and that was grounds for disownment. I packed my things and left that night, a week after my 18th birthday and haven't seen or heard from my mother, father or sister since. Simon and River are the only family I have and even that, though I love them dearly, isn't exactly a strong 'family' relationship, our circumstances are too strenuous. I am admittedly a little jealous of Jayne's family and Mal's 'family'.

The next day I tried to keep to myself again but Inara found me standing on the catwalk watching Jayne work out and invited me to her shuttle for tea. It had been far too long since I had spent time with her so I agreed. I found myself drawn to her and I think it was because I saw a quality in her that I, too, possessed. She was a good listener and had the uncanny ability to allow people to spill their secrets without judgment. So there I sat, sipping tea, telling the beautiful Companion all about my loneliness, my love and lust for a certain surly merc, my fear of a bleak future when I had so many hopes and dreams. We sat for nearly two hours as I rambled and she helped me get my feet back on the ground and see that all hope was not lost and time was my friend right now, not my enemy. She also told me that when we got Tracey to St. Albans and got back on course she'd give me a few tricks to maybe get Jayne's attention.

It was late that night that the Feds caught up to us. I was standing outside the Infirmary after Tracey had come to when he saw Kaylee for the first time and I could hear the heart monitor register his increased pulse. Watching Simon, I saw it register on his face what was happening and I sincerely hoped he wouldn't muck it up again.

As Tracey was explaining how he ended up corpsified and mailed to Cap'n and Zoe, the Feds reminded us they were still there.

"Attention crew. This is the captain. Sit down and hang on to something."

I was up on the bridge when Jayne came up with Mal's and Zoe's guns. He handed me my new pistol and I check to see he had loaded it for me. I slipped it into my belt at the small of my back. I braced against the lockers behind me as Wash banked and accelerated. He hit a turn hard and I stumbled into Jayne who, much to my surprise, caught me with an arm around my shoulders and held me n place until we leveled out again. He went back to prepping Vera as I listened to Zoe and Book discuss the lack of transmission to the Fed station.

When Wash said,

"Get ready for hard burn! They'd be crazy to follow us in here."

Jayne sat on the crate in front of the lockers and tugged my arm to pull me over against him. He had both feet planted and a lower center of gravity. He stood me in front of him between his knees and gripped my hip with one hand to steady me and held the crate with his other. Wash dove into the canyon and then had to dodge the rock fall from the Fed's missile and I lurched forward. Jayne's fast reflexes kept me from face planting and I ended up sitting in his lap.

Wash put us down a minute later and we tried to strategize when the Feds started dropping full yield mag drops trying to flush us out. Tracey threw a monkey wrench into the mix then. Everything happened fast after that. Tracey grabbed Kaylee after getting shot and I had just enough time to check that Wash was fine, just a graze, then I followed the rest out after Tracey. Zoe, Jayne and I circled around as Mal advanced on Tracey. Kaylee was looking around in a slight panic. She caught Jayne's eye who motioned for her to stay quiet as we crept closer. Mal glanced at Jayne who pumped his shotgun in one hand as a distraction. Tracey turned, freeing Kaylee and opening himself up to Mal who shot him. Kaylee ducked passed Jayne and I grabbed her up in a hug to prove she was safe.

When the Feds boarded, Jayne was standing on the landing and pumped his shotgun to gain their attention.

"Well, now, somebody left the dog off the lease. I've been shot too many time to be scared by a gun, boy."

Tracey called out to Womack who looked up to find he was surrounded. He put on a lot of bravado and that's when Book stepped out and called him on his bullshit. Preacher was brave, standing there with a gun pointed at him. Zoe cocking her Mare's Leg made Womack stand down. As he turned to leave he stopped and looked up at Jayne and said,

"That hat makes you look like an idiot."

I didn't even think twice and from my spot on the walkway I pulled the trigger, sending a bullet grazing his ear. He whipped around and I said,

"And you're a rutting coward. Leaving without your prize and called out on your feihua by a Shepherd. So who's the real idiot?"

He looked about to challenge me but the four firearms trained on him made his decision and the three stormed off.

Tracey was dying and there was nothing Simon or I could do to stop it. Once he'd passed, Book gave him his last rights and we brought him to his family. The whole ship was pretty quiet as Wash took us out of atmo and back on course to try and catch up with Inara's schedule. A few hours into the trip, while everything was still quiet, I took a spot at the game table and spread out a cloth and began taking my new pistol apart. Jayne found me there about twenty minutes later. I had the pistol completely disassembled and each bullet standing on end in a neat little line. I looked up to see him towering over me, watching. He said,

"You should clean it now that ya used it."

"I don't have anything."

A grunt was his only reply as he walked away. Confused by his reaction I just went back to examining the pieces. A couple minutes had passed when Jayne returned and took a seat next to me handing me a kit with gun cleaner and oil. I smiled and said,

"Jayne Cobb you can be a real sweetheart."

He grunted and in a gruff voice said,

"Don't go spreadin' that around."

I laughed a little.

"I wouldn't dare spoil your intimidating reputation. I like having something of you all to myself."

I added the last part quietly, almost to myself.

I began to systematically clean each part and oil the appropriate parts. Jayne had leaned back in his chair with his hands up behind his head watching me.

"Where'd a girl like you learn guns?"

I hesitated a moment, then decided on the truth.

"The Academy where River and I were held hostage. They had people with special gifts and were brainwashing and training us. I can only assume to be assassins. I don't know the triggers, which is terrifying, but it's only happened once and that was our lovely little brawl in the cargo bay. But they taught us proficiency with firearms and I was a natural. I don't know what else they did to River though. But if the blue hands who came after us on Ariel ever catch up to us...well it's not like we're going to jail. It'd be brainwashing and torture and they'd kill Simon and all of you. I won't let that happen."

Jayne just sat in silence. I could feel the wheels turning in his brain, trying to process everything I had just divulged. I began reassembling my pistol. I started by loading the magazine and then methodically put each piece of the un back together. I could feel Jayne's eyes on me as I got to the end. I seated the magazine and racked a round into the chamber, clicking the safety on and placed it on the table. In a rough voice Jayne said,

"I'll be in my bunk."

As he stood and hurried away, the image he left behind was burned in my brain. It was me, through his eyes, in barely any clothing, standing in front of him. My hair was a wild mess about my face and I was holding Vera.

So maybe I wasn't as crazy as I thought for loving Jayne Cobb. Maybe there was something there.

 _houzi de pigu - monkey's ass_

 _feihua - bullshit_


	13. Chapter 13

I held onto that image for more than a week before I went to Inara for her promised advise. I didn't say anything about what I had seen. Telling people I could read minds was bound to go poorly. But I told her about the little things I had noticed. Like holding onto me on the bridge when Wash was maneuvering and sitting with me while I cleaned my gun. Inara agreed that there was something there but we just didn't know how to deal with it. Jayne could be like a wild animal, easily spooked.

Inara had many clients over the next couple weeks. We were busy with jobs as well. Mal was unusually surly and I attributed it to Inara working; more proof he was in love with her. Jayne was different. Not that anyone else noticed. It wasn't much but I noticed little things like him touching me more. Little touches, like a hand on my shoulder, and him sitting next to me in our down time.

I was up on the bridge chatting with Wash when the distress call from Inara's friend Nandi came in. When Wash came back to the bridge to send the Wave to Inara's shuttle I left in search of something else to occupy my time. It wasn't long though before Zoe called all of us to the cargo bay to explain the job.

Jayne's hired gun side showed when we were discussing the job. I glared at him as Book explained that this wasn't about the money.

"No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated this job is strictly speculative."

"Good. Don't know these folks. Don't much care to."

That's when Mal stepped in and said,

"They're whores."

"I'm in."

I simultaneously wanted to punch him in the face, vomit and cry. Instead I took a deep breath and walked away.

When we walked into the house Inara and Nandi greeted each other with hugs. Kaylee, Wash and I stood off to the side as Mal and Zoe went to talk with Nandi. Kaylee, who had grown up on a rural planet, looked around taking in all the sights.

"Look. They got boy whores. Isn't that thoughtful? I wonder if they service girl folk at all?"

Wash was clearly uncomfortable, "Let's not ask."

Simon tried to change the subject, "Isn't there a pregnant woman I'm to examine?"

Wash seemed slightly concerned, "You'd really lie with someone being paid for it?"

Kaylee's voice sounded a bit dejected when she said, "Well it's not like anyone else is linin' up to, ya know, examine me."

I linked my arm through hers then and she leaned her head on my shoulder for a brief moment. Jayne stood up then with the blonde woman in tow and said,

"My John Thomas is about to pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty in here."

I barely contained the sob that ripped up my throat. Wash said with a little disgust,

"Would be you'd get your most poetical about your pecker."

When Petaline came in and Simon headed off to check on her Jayne headed off upstairs with the blonde woman. Kaylee said,

"Everyone's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty."

Wash said, "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."

"Cause I'm pretty?"

"Cause you're pretty."

"Kaylee, Simon thinks you're pretty. He's just awkward. And preoccupied. Don't give up on him"

A few minutes later Mal, Zoe and Inara immerged with Nandi. We all headed back to the ship. The plan was for Mal and Inara to go to the theater tonight and meet this Rance Burgess guy. On the way back to the ship Inara suggested I go in her place. Her argument was that I was classy enough to be believable and could hold my own should thing go awry and I was intuitive and she wanted to spend time with Nandi. Mal relented and Inara swept me off to her shuttle.

Inara put me in a gorgeous red satin gown that was elegantly ornamented. She brushed, curled and arranged my dark hair so it was half up and half cascading over my shoulders. She did my makeup and sent me on my way. I passed Jayne on my way through the cargo bay to meet Mal. His eyes never left e and his thoughts were scrambled. I smirked a little to myself.

Mal inserted himself in the strange conversation happening at the theater. I stood demurely at his side observing everything. Mal handed the blaster back to Burgess.

"And as you say, she is a beauty."

"She sure is. Of course, I was referring to the lady. Ma'am."

Mal turned to Mrs. Burgess and gave a short bow. He turned to me and offered his arm and we made for the door. As we left Mal said,

"The plan is we get back to Serenity, and we get off this rock just as fast as we can."

"Good plan, sir. That man is evil and the baby is biologically his."

Mal turned to look at me.

"He, uh, got the call as we were walking away."

We continued walking back to Serenity and the House. Truth was I had read that from his mind as we walked out the door. I had also learned a lot about how cruel and horrible that man was and knew he wouldn't give up because he believed he was in the right.

Everyone gathered in the front sitting room to listen to the plan.

"We run. Math just don't add up. Our weapons stores aren't exactly overpowering at the moment, and I don't much like what we'd be up against. Nothing worse than a monster who thinks he's right with God. Might turn Burgess away once, but he'll keep comin'. He won't stop till he gets what he thinks is his. So we run."

"I understand, Captain Reynolds. You have your people to think of, same as me. And this ain't your fight."

Clearly Nandi had misunderstood.

"I don't believe you do understand, Nandi. I said we run. We. My people, your people and whatever bits of precious you got in this house you can't bear to part with. We load up Serenity and we leave Burgess in the dust."

Nandi stood right in front of Mal to make her case.

"Captain Reynolds, it took me years to cut this piece of territory out of other men's hands, to build this business up from nothing."

"Nandi."

"It's who I am, and it's my home. I'm not going anywhere."

Mal made one for attempt to persuade her.

"He'll kill you. Kill every last one of them if it comes to that. And he'll sleep well that night."

"Rance Burgess is just a man, and I won't let any man take what's mine. I doubt you'd do different in my position."

"Well, lady, I must say, you're my kind of stupid."

Jayne chimed in from where he was sitting behind the blonde, playing with her hair.

"Oh hell, he ain't expecting much of a fight. Might be we catch him with his drawers low."

Zoe pulled her Mare's Leg and check the chamber as she said,

"He'll probably ride in by daylight. But I figure three-point watch, say four-hour shift, just to be on the safe side."

Wash tried to look serious, "Three point, four hour...should do it."

Book added, "I'm fair handy with a hammer, Captain."

"That so, Shepherd?"

"Been following the footsteps of a carpenter for some time now. I think I can do something about our fortifications."

And so began the preparations for battle. As Mal talked to Kaylee I suddenly felt an extra mind that wasn't there before. Then River said,

"It's starting."

And I looked to Petaline who looked scared.

"Dr. Tam?!"

Mal seemed to panic a bit as Simon helped the pregnant woman up. As Mal continued to babble Simon looked at him calmly and said,

"I got this one, Captain."

We all got to work getting the house ready to come under fire. Petaline was in labor but still had a ways to go. I ran to Serenity to change out of the elegant gown Inara had lent to me because I knew between helping deliver a baby and a possible shoot out I would ruin it.

I returned to find Jayne teaching the girls how to shoot accurately. He was using sex as incentive to get them to shoot straight. I couldn't resist. I walked up to the line of shooter and pulled my new pistol. I had plenty of ammo and a little practice could only help. After all, I had only fired the weapon once. As everyone began to fire again I joined in. I could hear everyone else stop around me and began to move forward as I fired. I emptied the magazine and reloaded while closing on the target. Every bullet hit the center of the target Jayne had drawn on the board. At 10 yards away I fired my last shot and put the safety back on and slid the warm pistol back in the holster at the small of my back. I turned to see them all watching me. Jayne's eyes were wide and lust was rolling off him in waves. It made me a little excited and sad at the same time. I just said,

"Practice makes perfect."

And headed into the house.

Petaline was having contractions but they weren't regular yet. Simon was examining her and using all his medical jargon. Inara told her that it'd be a little longer. Simon asked me to get the painkiller for her. As I prepped it Inara quietly asked Simon,

"How many babies have you actually delivered?"

"As the primary? This would be the first. You?"

"My first too."

River chimed in, "Mine too."

She was focused on Petaline. Simon said, "It's gonna be a long night."

I rolled my eyes, "Amateurs."

They all looked at me.

"Just follow my lead. I've helped deliver 6 babies and 4 of those were in the back of a helicopter and the other 2 was a set of twins in the stairway of an apartment building. This will be textbook."

The night was long. Petaline's contraction died off a bit and dozed on and off all night allowing Simon and Inara to as well. River fell asleep in the corner and didn't wake until early morning. It was impossible for me to sleep. I was keeping my mind open to focus on Petaline but I was struggling to block out the strong emotions flowing through the rest o the house. Most were sleeping but several were freaking out a little to themselves. Kaylee I could feel from a couple rooms over. She was still feeling down about Simon not showing her attention and having no one to love her. Jayne was having sex up on the third floor with the blonde he favored so much. Shepherd was praying for peace and guidance and an easy labor for Petaline. Mal was in bed with Nandi in the room down the hall. I was exhausted to say the least and it wasn't even midnight.

As the night wore on everyone eventually fell asleep and I was afforded a little peace. Petaline's contractions started to intensify around 4am and I could sense it wouldn't be long now. Her contractions became regular and barely 2 minutes apart at about 6am and that was around the time the rest of the house began to stir and prepare for the impending shoot out.

I sent Inara to bring towels and warm water to clean up with as things were progressing quickly. She returned after a few minutes to drop off the supplies and left quickly. Something felt off. I left Simon to go check on her. I found her in the next room, sitting on the floor, curled in on herself sobbing. I knelt next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I didn't even have to ask and she spilled her secrets to me between sobs. I comforted her the best I knew how, with empathy. I told her I knew how she felt from experience. After a few minutes she had calmed down and we returned to Petaline's room.

Mal stopped by a bit later to give me an earpiece so I could stay abreast of the unfolding situation and should they need a medic.

I was half listening as Mal talked to Wash about providing air support. Jayne's voice came over the radio and it made me freeze in my tracks half way to Simon's bag for one last dose of painkiller.

"Oh, now, girl that is just plain dirty."

It took every ounce of self control I had not to burst into tears as Mal said,

"Jayne, you are aware your radio's transmittin'? 'Cause I don't feel particularly girlish or dirty at the moment."

Petaline's scream as another contraction wracked her body brought me back to reality.

Nandi entered not long after that to check on Petaline. Simon told her she was fully dilated so it wouldn't be long. Nandi read Inara like a book about her feelings for Mal.

"Nandi, believe me, I'll be fine."

"Mal, looks like we got some imminent violence."

I felt the whole house tense at Jayne's words. The baby was crowning right as I heard the call for cover over the radio and then the machine gun ripping into the house. I heard mal ask Jayne to take it out and I could hear the single shot echo and Jayne say,

"I think I might, Captain."

I stopped listening after that as we got to the tricky part of labor and delivery, the shoulders. Simon stood over my shoulder as I was on my knees at the end of the bed. He coached Petaline.

"That's it, Petaline. One more push."

She groaned and push with everything she had and I guided the baby's head to release the shoulders.

"That's the shoulders!" Simon exclaimed as I guided the rest of the body on the next contraction. We cleaned him up as Petaline delivered the placenta and her contractions faded.

I wrapped the newborn in a blanket and Simon turned to hand him to Petaline saying,

"It's -", but River interrupted saying,

"A boy. Healthy."

That was the moment Burgess stepped through the door. Inara pulled River against her and out of the line of fire. He took the newborn from Simon at gunpoint. Petaline yelled, begging him not to take her baby. As soon as he stepped out the door I pulled the knife from my boot and handed it to Inara and we followed him into the hall. He was confronted my Nandi and Inara and I crept up behind him as he said,

"This is my blood, woman."

Inara put the knife to his throat and said,

"No, this is your blood. Now, you hand the child over nice and slow, or I'll spill more than you can spare."

I stepped up and took the baby from him and handed him off to Simon. I saw it before it happened. He elbowed Inara in the gut and I leapt forward as he fired that wretched laser pistol at Nandi. I felt the searing pain lance across my side and then hit the floor and my head bounced off the floor and everything went black.

I came around to Jayne setting me down on the table in Serenity's infirmary. Simon cleaned the laser burn and bandaged it and examined me for concussion. He figured it was mild but I wouldn't be allowed to sleep for the next 18 hours, which of course was all I wanted to do at that point. The next morning we held a little funeral for those who'd lost their lives. After the ceremony we all headed for the house for a final farewell. I was utterly exhausted at this point from too many other emotions and no sleep in 48 hours. I didn't even notice Jayne going upstairs with the blonde.

We packed up Serenity and left Burgess behind us. Rance was dead, Petaline had a healthy baby boy and Nandi got to keep her family and home. As we broke atmo, I heard Jayne in the cargo bay telling Simon he was gonna miss having a willing bit of trim around. That was the final straw for me. I burst into tears and ran for my room. Half blind, I ran into Mal. I gasped out a 'sorry' but didn't stop. I slammed the door shut and locked it, then threw myself on m bed and cried myself to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Mal stared after the young woman as she ran crying towards her room. He heard the door slam and turned, walking towards the cargo bay where he could hear Jayne's voice.

"Jayne! What in the sphincter of hell did you do to AJ?"

"Me?!"

He looked so confused.

"Well you're the only one on this boat what can make her cry and she's cryin'."

"Me?!"

He said again, still mightily confused.

"Na wo hui shi yige houzi de shushu. You got no ruttin' clue."

Mal walked away then, leaving Jayne very confused and Simon concerned. Simon followed Mal out and Jayne stood there thinking on how he could have made AJ cry. He hadn't said anything to her in a couple day.

I heard the knock at the door and knew it was Simon even before he called out,

"AJ? Are you ok? Can I come in?"

"Go away, Simon. I just want to be alone."

Kaylee came by the next morning and left food outside my door. Inara came by that night and told me through the door that she would listen if I needed to talk. She left a plate of cookies outside the door. Shepherd came by the next evening. He knocked and said,

"I brought some soup. Be sure to eat, you need your strength dear."

And he left. I stayed locked up the whole next day. I was trying to recover from that laser burn, which still hurt, and from the bombardment of others' thoughts and emotions.

I ventured out late the next night. I made my way through the silent ship to Inara's shuttle. I knocked quietly figuring if she was asleep she wouldn't hear it and I wouldn't bother her. To my surprise Zoe answered the door and tugged me in before I could protest. Everyone smiled at me as Zoe said,

"We're having a girls night. Come. Sit."

Inara poured me a cup of tea and handed me a biscuit. She asked,

"What brought you here, AJ?"

"Um, I, well you said if I needed to talk and I really need some advice but I can come another time. I don't want to bring you all down."

"Nonsense." Zoe said.

I smiled at all of them, Zoe, Inara and Kaylee. I took a deep breath and spilled my guts. I told them all about how I was irrationally but madly in love with Jayne and he was breaking my heart but I couldn't let go. I told them how I knew he was at least a little attracted to me from looks he gave me and little things he had done.

Kaylee chimed in when I'd finished, saying,

"Don't give up on him. We'll all help him see you. He's just a bit thick is all."

Zoe said, "In more ways than one."

And I blushed. The ladies all agreed that they would help me to get Jayne to see me as a woman and help me seduce him a little.

Things went back to normal that next day. I joined Jayne for a training session that afternoon. I talked him into some hand to hand combat training. It was fun circling each other, throwing punches, trying to get out of holds. I had ulterior motives for it but it was still fun. We were sparing at one point and I used the little advantage I had over the hulking merc and swiped at his ankles with my leg. He landed flat on his back with a thud. I straddled his waist to pin him down. He groaned and opened his eyes to glare up at me.

"Gorram it, girl."

I smiled triumphantly and said,

"I win."

He grunted and shifted, bending his knees to take pressure off his back but didn't dislodge me. With a little newfound confidence I leaned over him, my body brushing his, and said quietly,

"I like you like this. On your back, beneath me."

I kissed his cheek and hopped up walking away. I heard Mal walk in as I climbed the stairs and ask Jayne what was going on. I heard him stand quickly and say,

"I'll be in my bunk."

I couldn't help the blush and smile on my face as I knocked on Inara's door. She let me in and demanded I spill whatever was making me smile and blush. She seemed so happy and it boosted my confidence.

Inara helped me clean up and she brushed out my hair and arranged it around my shoulders. She did a little make up for me, insisting he would notice, as it brought out my eyes.

Notice he did at dinner that night. He kept glancing over at me sitting next to him at dinner. No one else paid much attention to it which made Jayne's attention all the more exciting. The next couple weeks went much the same. Jayne talked to me more often and there was a noticeable change in body language.

Everything was going shiny until River got hold of one of Jayne's pistols. We never quite figured out how she got her hands on it. My best guess is she read the locker combination off someone's mind without realizing it. We had a big family meeting after that about Kaylee's revelation from the rescue mission from Niska. Things got a little heated and then they got, well, awkward.

Captain cut off Jayne and Simon bickering,

"What we got here to deal with is the larger issue, and that larger issue is we got someone on board this ship might be a danger to us. Ain't a question of whether we like her. Some of us have grown attached to River. Kaylee I know you have, or you would've spoken up sooner. Which, by the by, you should have. I find River pleasant enough myself, but she does have an oddness to her. And I ain't talking about her proficiency with firearms. Girl knows things - - things she shouldn't, things she couldn't."

Jayne wasn't believing that,

"What, are you saying she's a witch?"

Wash's sarcasm was sharp as a blade as usual,

"Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."

"She's in Congress?"

They devolved into bickering. Inara put an end to it, calling everyone's focus back.

"This isn't a joking matter. This is about our lives and River's."

"Thank you."

Simon began to try and explain it.

"She's deeply intuitive. It's true that sometimes - -"

Mal interrupted.

"I don't think she's intuitive, Doctor. I think she's a reader."

I felt my whole world shift in that moment. Zoe asked calmly,

"Psychic?"

"Is that even remotely possible?"

Wash questioned. Mal was looking directly at Simon when he said,

"You tell me. You've been studying what they've done to her."

Simon looked around the table, unsure.

"They've - uh - they definitely altered the way she reacts to things, even the way she perceives. But I'm not - -"

Wash interrupted again, very skeptical,

"Psychic though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."

Zoe, ever the rock, said,

"We live in a spaceship, dear."

"So?"

Jayne was still trying to catch up.

"Whoa. Back up a sec. Are you saying she really reads minds?"

"Or near enough. Am I alone thinking along these lines?"

As soon as Book said,

"No."

I knew it was about time to tell the truth.

"Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking."

Inara threw back at him,

"No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking."

Wash chuckled and I finally found my moment and said,

"Jayne, darlin', I don't need to be able to read minds to know what you're thinking half the time."

Book said,

"The Alliance could have any number of uses for a psychic."

"A psychic...or an assassin."

Mal turned to me then and said,

"AJ, you care to elaborate on your comment?"

I took a deep breath and said,

"You're not wrong Cap'n. River is a reader. So am I."

Everyone just stared. I continued,

"The experiments they did on River damaged a lot of her brain and she is still recovering from that trauma and I believe that is why she seems so unstable. They did a lot of the same work on me but didn't progress quite as far. Both of us were intuitive before the Academy, which is why they picked us. River's genius made her the perfect candidate for their program. And yes, they were training us to be assassins."

The table was dead silent as they all stared at me. Simon said quietly,

"She's just a kid. And she just wants to be...a kid."

Jayne was clearly a little freaked out and trying to come up with a plan, something he could wrap his head around. Mal, at least, was going to give it time.

Later that night I was on my way to Jayne's bunk. I needed to explain things to him, maybe he would understand. I was standing at the hatch working up the courage to knock when a heavy blow landed to the back of my head. I fell to my knees, dazed and blurry, and then my head smacked off one of the ladder rungs and I don't remember anything until Jayne was shaking me awake. Then everything was blurry and I was dizzy and nauseous. Jayne picked me up and carried me up the ladder and to the infirmary where Simon was on the table. Jayne stood me up and said,

"Doc and Zoe need your help."

I just said,

"Bucket."

He reached behind me and I grabbed it just in time to catch the vomit. Jayne gave me a disgusted look but handed me a glass of water. I took a deep breath, my head pounded and vision swam but I washed my hands, snapped on gloves and stepped next to Zoe, taking her place at the wound on Simon's leg.

"What happened here?"

Simon said,

"Gunshot wound."

"I got that much darlin'. I meant why were you shot, who shot you, why was I unconscious on the floor in Jayne's bunk?"

Simon sounded a bit weak and said,

"I'll tell you later."

"Simon I am operating on you with a concussion, humor me."

Zoe filled me in on what happened. The bounty hunter, River's plan to save everyone and sacrifice herself, how Mal got knocked out, Kaylee got tied up and Simon got shot. How the bounty hunter knocked me out and Book and locked all of the crew in the bunks and she told me how Cap'n got rid of the bounty hunter and left him floating in space.

When I was done stitching him up Simon had enough left in him to instruct everyone to not allow me to fall asleep for the next 12 hours. After Simon fell asleep Zoe told Jayne he was to keep an eye on me. He protested a little and she told him he'd slept through the whole ordeal including me being dropped into his bunk, it was the least he could do. He grumbled about it at first but he didn't stray too far from my side the rest of the day.

At one point he asked why I couldn't sleep.

"With head injuries it's possible that once you fall asleep you might not wake up. This is the safest and easiest thing to do with any head injury beyond superficial."

"Oh."

We were sitting in the lounge area and I could tell he was watching me with questions on the tip of his tongue. He finally blurted it out.

"Can you actually read minds?"

"Yes. And no I don't do it all the time. I try not to listen in. Sometimes I can't help it, like when thoughts are loud or emotions are running high."

He stared open mouthed because his next question had been if I did it all the time.

"I guess I ended up in your bunk because I was standing outside it when that guy hit me. I wanted to explain to you. I want you to understand at least what I understand. I don't want you to be freaked out by me."

He grunted in acknowledgement so I continued.

"Remember on Ariel when we looked at River's scans and we talked about how they'd stripped her amygdala and what that meant?"

He nodded.

"Well, they did the same thing to me. So yes I can read a person's mind if I focus or if their thought is especially loud, so to speak. Mostly I read emotions. So I feel what others around me feel. I do a pretty good job of blocking the vast majority of everyday emotions. But when situations get intense I feel it all. I promise I don't read people's thoughts if I can help it. Only time I do it on purpose is if someone is in danger."

We were both quiet for a long time. I focused very hard on not listening to his thoughts. I knew he was thinking long and hard about everything I'd said and to his credit he stayed there sitting next to me on the little couch. After a while he seemed to relax and he propped his feet up on the table and leaned back with his arms behind his head. It was almost an hour before he spoke and his voice startled me as he said,

"Only a couple more hours."

I sighed and said,

"I'm so tired."

A few seconds of silence passed and he said,

"If you want to lay down I won't let you fall asleep."

I looked at him for confirmation and he nodded. I leaned over and rested my head on his thigh close to his knee. I was tense but he didn't even flinch so I let myself relax a little.

A few minutes of quiet passed.

"Jayne?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me about your family. What's Ma Cobb like? And Mattie?"

He began to tell me stories about his mother and little sister and growing up. While he talked one of his hands rested on my side and the other I could feel playing with the ends of my ponytail.

The rumble of his voice and his hand drawing patterns on my side was making me very sleepy.

"Jayne, I don't want you stop but I'm falling asleep here."

"S'ok AJ. You're passed 12 hours. Go ahead an' sleep."

I sighed and snuggled in a little closer to his warmth and let myself relax.

Jayne watched the brunette laying on his lap. He could admit to himself that there was something about her he was drawn to. The fact that she was snuggled up against him with her head in his lap and he was comfortable touching her and telling her stories about his family and childhood was weirding him out a bit.

He heard Zoe and Wash coming through the galley. They stopped short when they saw them. Zoe opened her mouth but Jayne cut her off quietly saying,

"It's been 12 hours since she came to. Let her sleep."

Both looked skeptical but continued on their way. Not long after, Jayne figured AJ would be better off in a proper bed. He shifted slowly, trying not to wake her, and scooped her into his arms and stood. She woke up a bit as she settled in his arms. Her sleepy voice made him look down.

"Jayne?"

"Shh go back to sleep. You need rest."

She hummed quietly and burrowed into his chest. The feeling made his heart rate jump and his mind race; a woman had never made him feel like this. He slid her door open with his foot and set her gently on her bed and covered her with a blanket. She looked cute all curled up and peaceful. Jayne stepped out and closed the door quietly. He took a deep breath and headed for the cargo bay. He had a lot to work out in his mind and vigorous activity always helped him think.

By the time he was done he was sweaty, sore and knew for certain that Aurora Jean Stark had changed his life in a permanent way. Normally he'd be highly irritated about this fact but this woman was special and he couldn't say his life was the worse for her being a part of it. The idea that she was a reader and had obviously heard his thoughts and still enjoyed spending time with him was mind boggling to him. A thought occurred to him that his Ma would love AJ. That sent his thoughts in a whole other direction he wasn't prepared to deal with. He went to get cleaned up and join the rest of the crew.

Dinner that night was the first time the whole crew was back together. There was a newfound universal respect for River and Simon after they both proved their willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice, especially River. We didn't talk much about what actually happened but River was included in the conversation more and there was a general sense of ease that wasn't there before. No one really talked to me, as usual. Maybe it was the concussion talking but the lack of acknowledgement was starting to get to me. I just wanted someone to acknowledge the fact that I too had risked life and limb for the crew, on multiple occasions.

 _~Well I'll be a monkey's uncle~_


	15. Chapter 15

_Note: This is the first sex scene I have ever written so...ye be warned. Let me know what you think!_

A couple weeks after the bounty hunter incident we found ourselves on Isis for a legitimate transport job. Simon was nervous and extremely apprehensive. Isis is in the same system as Osiris, where our families live. We'd picked up the cargo and were scheduled to leave in the morning. Cap'n gave us all shore leave for the evening. We all dispersed into the port town. Wash and Zoe headed off for a romantic evening. Kaylee talked Simon into bringing River with them to a street market to explore. Jayne headed off on his own, we all assumed to find the best whorehouse as usual. Inara had a client and had left in her shuttle as soon as we hit atmo. Mal and Book went their separate ways and I was left standing on the dock with Serenity looming up behind me and the port city stretching out in front of me. I took a deep breath, randomly picked a direction and started walking. I wound up in a bar watching pool players and drinking whiskey.

I'd had two shots and was staring into the empty second glass when I felt a large presence take the seat directly next to me. I was kind of surprised to find Jayne when I looked up. The whiskey was starting to take effect and I asked,

"What? No willin' bit o' trim about for ya?"

He grimaced a bit but shrugged. After a beat he gestured to the bartender for a drink. I nodded to the man and he poured me another shot. Jayne took a drink from his glass and said,

"Didn't like the idea of you off on yer own."

I scoffed a bit at that and threw back the shot in my hand.

"You know, I can take care of myself. Ya get good at it when you don't have a choice for seven years."

The bartender refilled my glass and I watched the amber liquid settle in the small glass. I wasn't drunk, maybe a little tipsy but the strong liquor had my inhibitions down and all my pent up frustrations were coming out freely.

"You know, I was a great medic. The top of the game. I lost count of how many lives I saved but I could count on both hands the number of lives I lost, that's how good I was. I still am! But now I'm on the run from people who would use me to kill others. And I'm stuck with a bunch of people who I would give my life for but barely notice I exist from one day to the next."

I downed the last shot, threw cash on the bar and stood up to leave. I heard Jayne get up and follow me but I tried to ignore him. I'd been in the bar to try to drown out my constant desire to be in that man's arms and him right there next to me was not helping. He stayed a few paces behind but he followed me on my wandering path back to Serenity.

I came to a dead stop in my tracks not far from where Serenity was parked. My blood ran cold and I was suddenly very sober. Jayne touched my shoulder and I jumped a mile out of my skin but gained enough sense to step off into the shadows. Jayne followed me, clearly confused.

"The couple walking up ahead, fancy clothes, dark hair."

"What about 'em?"

"Those are my parents."

He did a double take between us.

"Jayne if they see me they will, without a doubt, call the Feds. We need to get back to Serenity now."

Jayne led the way down some back alleys and once aboard Serenity we could hear Simon talking to Kaylee and I relaxed again. Jayne asked,

"Your parents would really turn you in?"

I nodded.

"My parents wanted nothing to do with me when I told them I wanted to be a paramedic, it was shameful. Then I went and refused to marry some politician's son to further their social standings so they disowned me and I was left on my own. A week after my 18th birthday and with no marketable skills and only the money I was able to sneak out of my account before my parents froze it."

"How are you sure they'd turn you over to the Feds? You are their daughter."

"Same reason you tried to turn me over to the Feds. Money. Also, I tried to go home after Simon broke River and I out. I naively thought they wouldn't know about the Academy and would take us in. They took us in, then called the Feds. My sister gave it away, acting nervous and glancing out the window constantly. We ran. Escaped into the woods out on the back end of the property just as the Feds swarmed the place. That's how we ended up on Persephone with River in cryo."

We were quiet a second.

"That's part of why I was in that bar. Five shots of whiskey clearly isn't enough to drown any of these feelings."

Jayne tried to steer the conversation,

"Didn't figure you for a whiskey girl."

I glanced at him sideways, sitting there on the stairs next to me.

"Have I ever struck you as the kind of girl to sip fruity cocktails and not be able to hold my liquor?

He chuckled a little and said,

"Nah. Just hadn't really thought much passed obvious on ya 'til recent."

It was definitely the whiskey giving me confidence to ask,

"So you think about me now? How so?"

He shifted a little,

"Yer the mind reader."

"I don't do it without permission. Tell me."

He started to talk when Mal, Wash and Zoe entered the cargo bay then. Zoe caught sight of us sitting on the stairs and tried to subtly lead the men up the other side to give us our privacy. Once they disappeared up to the bridge Jayne shifted a little uncomfortable and I put a hand on his knee and kept my gaze there so he wouldn't feel any more awkward. His voice was a little gruff as he said,

"Yer smart 'n tough 'n pretty. Ya don't take shit but ya keep taking care of all a' us even when no one notices. Even when I make a right ass of myself, yer still nice to me. Not many women like that in the 'verse."

My heart felt like it was going to explode.

"Jayne Cobb did you just tell me you like me?"

He huffed and shifted. Before he could deny it I seized the opportunity and said,

"I like you too, Jayne. A whole hell of a lot."

I planted a kiss on his scruffy cheek and stood up. I squeezed his shoulder as I started to climb the steps, knowing that was as much 'feeling sharing' Jayne could handle in one night.

We didn't get to see much of each other the next two days on our trip to drop off the cargo. Mal had gotten in a big fight with Inara when she'd returned early in the morning before takeoff. He took out his frustration on the rest of us and had us all cleaning Serenity to immaculate perfection. Jayne would catch my eye occasionally, from across the bay and we'd share a smile. I felt like a teenager again.

At dinner the night before we were due to arrive, things had eased between Mal and Inara and subsequently the rest of the crew. As usual, I was sitting next to Jayne during the meal. I could tell Zoe was watching the two of us, trying to figure us out. No one else would notice, it was Zoe after all. When we'd finished eating we all sat enjoying conversations. Jayne leaned back in his chair and put his arm across the back of my chair. It caught Zoe's attention. Then I could feel Jayne's hand touch my arm and his fingers start absently drawing patterns on my skin while he talked to Mal. I saw Zoe's eyebrow shoot up and caught her eye. She gave me a look that plainly invited me to read her mind. As soon as I opened up she was asking what he was doing. I gave a little smile and tilted my head to Inara, hoping she got the idea. She projected her question, 'Girls night?' I nodded once.

We all helped clean up, then dispersed. I found River sitting in with Simon.

"Hey darlin'. You want to come with me to Inara's for a girls night?"

Her eyes lit up like I hadn't seen in years. Simon started to protest a little.

"Simon, she's never gonna get better if you keep her locked up and isolated. She's a 16 year old girl. Being around a bunch of strong women is exactly what she needs."

The ladies welcomed River like she'd always been a part of these evenings. Inara sat her in front of her and began playing with that beautiful long, dark hair of hers.

"Alright AJ, spill."

I laughed at Zoe's eagerness for gossip. The other ladies looked their questions at us. Zoe said,

"When we were on Isis I came back to find her and Jayne having a private conversation on the stairs in the bay. Then tonight, did you see his arm on her chair?"

Kaylee chimed in,

"Yeah! He's never done that when someone was sittin' next to him."

"He was touching her too."

Kaylee's and Inara's eyes both got wide and I blushed. Kaylee practically squealed,

"Tell us everything!"

"Ok so, when we were on Isis I found myself in a bar. I was admittedly trying to drown my desire for him as well as...well I was lonely and feelin' neglected. I was doing shots of whiskey and he showed up and sat next to me. I was a little snarky to him about whores and why he was there but he said he didn't like the idea of me out by myself. I started complaining and then left. He followed me. I saw my parents on the street and had a minor panic attack and Jayne took us back to Serenity through alleys so we wouldn't be seen. We sat talking because he didn't believe my parents would hand me over to the Feds. I told him about how when Simon rescued the two of us, we went to my family's house and we only just escaped."

River said quietly,

"I remember."

"Well after that he kinda tried to change the subject by saying he didn't figure me for a whiskey girl. When I pushed he said he just hadn't ever really thought of me more than just in passing until recently."

Kaylee gasped a little and I couldn't help the smile as I continued.

"I was trying to get him to tell me how he thought of me now when you guys came in, Zoe. Once y'all left, thank you for that by the way."

Zoe just nodded with a smile.

"Once y'all left he basically told me he liked me, without flat out saying it, 'cause I'm smart and pretty and tough. And he said that even when he makes an ass out of himself I'm still nice to him and there aren't many girls in the 'verse like me."

Kaylee let out a squeal of delight.

"I told him I liked him a lot too. But I haven't really talked to him since cuz Cap'n had his lil' hissy fit and kept us so busy."

Inara blushed at that.

We shifted focus and got Inara to tell us all about the fight they'd had and why. Turns out Mal had all but admitted he had feelings for her but wouldn't follow through and they both were hurt. Inara told us then that she would be leaving and she didn't think she'd be back. We were all upset but Kaylee the most. Inara explained that it was best for everyone and she just couldn't handle Mal's changing moods anymore, it was too stressful. We all agreed. I understood the pain, as did Kaylee.

We spent another hour or two gossiping. Zoe let us live vicariously through her and dished on Wash and how good he was in bed. We may have scandalized River a bit but as a 16 year old girl I'd rather she got all that from a trusted source. She seemed happy to take it all in and reaching out I could feel her mind was calmer than it had been in awhile.

As we left Inara's shuttle I asked Zoe if she was ok that Mal was having me come along on tomorrow's drop as another gun.

"I trust you, hun. So does the Captain. This will be a good chance to learn and get your bearings."

Early the next morning Jayne knocked on my door. I slid it open.

"Cap'n said to get you up 'cause you're coming with on this run."

I nodded.

"You ok with that?"

"You're a hell of a shot. And I always say you can never have too many guns."

He gave me a little smirk then said,

"Get ready, we're leaving in 15."

Of course the job went south. We were delivering medical supplies to a rural town because the usual transport ship broke down. It was all legitimate. A group of outlaws tried to hijack the cargo from the team of hospital staff that came to collect it from us. We happened to see the ambush happen not far from where they'd met us. Mal, Jayne, Zoe and myself ran out to help. Thankfully the only casualty was one of the outlaws and Jayne's hat that his mother gave him. It was nearly obliterated. I could tell Jayne was pretty upset but didn't want anyone to know. He threw the destroyed hat in the dirt at the end of Serenity's ramp and stormed off to his bunk. I scooped the now holey, charred mess out of the dirt and took it back to my room with me.

It took some searching but I found a box and carefully packed the shredded hat into it. It took a couple hours but I composed a letter to Ma Cobb and placed it on top of the hat and sealed up the box. Next time we made port I would send it off to Jayne's mother and hope for the best.

About 2 weeks later was when Inara left us. It was an awful day. I was close to tears, Kaylee was openly crying. It was only two days after she left that Mal made Wash park at the Spaceplex for a few hours. The Captain was grumpy without Inara but he was pretending to do it for Kaylee to get her mind off her friend being gone. I took the opportunity to check the post. Luck was on my side and a familiar looking box was waiting for me. I stashed it in my room and joined the rest of the crew at a pub for dinner.

We all had a nice time, relaxing, drinking and eating together. I was sat next to Jayne in the corner against the wall. He always sat with his back to a wall given the chance. When everyone had finished eating and we were all just drinking, Jayne leaned back in his chair and threw his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to lean against his chest. Jayne didn't seem to notice everyone stare for a second. He continued talking with Shepherd like nothing changed. My heart was pounding and I was giddy. We left as a group, making our way through the crowds back to the ship. Jayne walked next to me with his arm slung over my shoulders. It was ridiculous how much I was enjoying such a small gesture. Once back on Serenity we all went our separate ways to turn in for the night. I was too wound up to even consider sleep at this point. I grabbed the box from under my bed and read the note Ma Cobb had included with the perfectly repaired hat.

 _'Aurora Jean, it warms my heart to know that my Jayne works with someone with such a warm and kind heart that truly cares for him. Please give him my love. Love, Ma Cobb'_

I picked up the hat and stuffed it in my pocket and went to find a certain mercenary with a big heart.

I found him at his bench in the cargo bay getting ready for another set.

"Hi."

"Hey there darlin'."

"Got a sec?"

"'Spose so. Why?"

"Well, um, I took some liberty with something a while back. And well...here."

I handed him the hat. He looked really confused.

"I know you threw it in the dirt when it got torched but I saved it and sent it to your mother and asked her to fix it for you. She did and sent it back. I just got it today. I really hope you aren't mad that I ..."

I never finished that sentence. Jayne's hands were on my face and his lips connecting with mine in what was the best kiss of my life. I felt it ripple through me down to my toes. He pulled back and stared at me, hands still cupping my face. I'm positive my pupils were blown wide as I stared back. Then he was leaning in again and my eyes were closing as I leaned toward him. He kissed me again and it was electric.

We both heard the sound of someone climbing the steps by the infirmary and pulled apart. It was Mal passing through on his way to the bridge.

"Night you two."

"Night Cap'n."

Jayne called back because I couldn't form a thought let alone words. Once he was gone, Jayne said,

"Thank you. No one's ever done anything like that for me before."

I smiled up at him, my cheeks were pink and hot. My pulse was pounding.

"Can I kiss ya again?"

"Yes."

He leaned in and my eyes fluttered shut as his lips touched mine. Damn, but that man could kiss. When he pulled away he said in almost a whisper,

"We should both get some sleep."

All I could do was nod. He kissed my forehead, which had me reeling, and said,

"Good night, AJ" as he walked away.

"Good night, Jayne."

My voice was hardly steady.

Sleep was elusive that night. When I did finally fall asleep, I dreamt of Jayne constantly. I awoke the next morning in a state of desire I had never experienced before and not quite sure last night had actually happened. Jayne's hand squeezing my knee briefly at breakfast convinced me it was all real. I had waited so long for this but I had no idea how to handle it.

I didn't see much of Jayne that day or the next because Mal had all kinds of chores for us. I was awake late into the night that night. I was caught up in a good book and not paying a lick of attention to the time. I was so lost in my own world that I didn't hear Jayne until he was coming down the steps from the bay. I looked up and my breath caught at the sight before me. Jayne had his shirt hanging out of one of his pockets and he was all sweaty and swollen from what was clearly an intense workout.

Jayne stopped short at the bottom. He looked almost surprised to see me. Our eyes met and my mouth was suddenly a desert. I licked my lips quickly. After a moment Jayne nodded and headed across the room towards the galley and crew bunks. After a moment of silence, I reeled in my hormones and stood and stretched. It had just hit me how late in the sleep cycle it was. I had taken two steps toward the galley for a cup of water when I heard footsteps.

Jayne came back through the doorway and made a beeline for me. He reached for me. One hand gripping my hip, the other gently cupping my face. Both pulling me flush against him as his lips crashed into mine. My back hit the wall as his hand delved into my hair holding me against him. I got some sense back and my hands began to move. I slid my hands up his swollen biceps and tangled them in the hair at the back of his head.

After a moment that was eternity and not enough, Jayne pulled back and looked straight in my eyes. His voice was rough with desire,

"AJ..."

"Don't stop."

I pushed off the wall and claimed his mouth in a kiss I didn't know I was capable of. I was up on my toes, my arms around his neck. Suddenly, my feet were leaving the ground. Jayne lifted me up with ease, never really breaking contact. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles at his back. He started to move and I switched my focus from his lips to everywhere else I could reach. I started to kiss on his neck as he made his way toward his bunk. He nearly tripped on his own feet as I clearly hit a sensitive spot.

"Gorram it, girl. Ya tryin' ta kill me?"

I giggled quietly and continued my assault, making a mental note for the future. He made it to his bunk and kicked open the hatch. I unlocked my ankles from behind his back and used my arms around his neck to hold me as I slowly slid down his body until my feel touched the ground. He groaned and a shiver ran through me and I hustled down the ladder before he changed his mind on any part of this.

Jayne dropped down behind me and I heard the hatch lock at the top of the ladder. I felt the heat radiating off him and then his hands were sliding around my waist and he leaned down, his scruff tickling my cheek. His voice was quiet and rough when he spoke,

"You sure about this, AJ? We can stop."

"Jayne, I have been crazy about you since the moment I saw you all those months ago."

I turned around to face him and look him in the eyes as I continued,

"I want you more than anything in the 'verse right now. But only if you want me too. And I can't just do this once, Jayne. This isn't just sex for me."

I knew that was the make or break it. We both stood silent, looking into each other's eyes. Jayne was still holding my waist, so that was something but the silence was making me nervous. Finally, he said,

"I ain't good with words. But...I ain't been with another woman since that whore house on Burgess."

"Isis?"

"Never made it close. Couldn't think of nothin' but you."

My cheeks were suddenly hot and my eyes pricked with tears. Jayne tugged me forward, flush against him and kissed me gently. I was melting.

My hands ran up the ridges and dips of Jayne's abdomen and chest. He pulled away with a slight shiver.

"One more confession/disclaimer."

He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"I haven't been with a man in more than 5 years. I'm...I'm not a virgin but I've only done this once."

The sound that rolled from his chest sent a shiver down my spine. His hand buried in my hair and pulled me in for a searing kiss. As he pulled away his voice was gravelly,

"Are you trying to kill me?"

I laughed a little.

"I think I'm wearing too many clothes here."

Jayne growled and that was all the permission he needed as he immediately tugged my t-shirt over my head. My shirt was tossed off to the side and his gaze landed on my newly exposed skin. The look he gave me fanned the flames into an inferno within me.

His mouth was back on mine, hot and urgent. He took a step towards me, pushing me back towards his bed. The back of my knees hit and I sat on the edge. Jayne kicked off his boots and I reached forward tugging him closer by his belt and began to unfasten it and his pants. I pushed everything down over his hips and couldn't help but stare as he stepped out of the rest of his clothes. I had felt him pressed against me all night but it didn't prepare me for how...well endowed he was. I licked my lips and wrapped my hand around him, earning myself a hiss of pleasure from the merc towering above me. I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around the tip, sucking him in experimentally. The groan he responded with gave me confidence and I went deeper, hollowing out my cheeks and swirling my tongue over the smooth skin. His hand was in my hair again and his head tipped back.

Jayne tugged on my hair and his voice was rough as he said,

"AJ. This is gonna be over 'fore it starts if you don't stop."

One last suck and I let him fall from my mouth with a pop, earning a growl and he gently pushed me back onto his bed, moving to pull my pants down my legs. I was suddenly nervous again, realizing Jayne was about to see all of me. All those thoughts were driven out of my head as I was naked and vulnerable with Jayne kneeling over me and he whispered,

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever been with."

The sentiment and that Jayne verbalized it took my breath away.

Bracing himself with his hands on either side of my head he claimed my mouth with his for another searing kiss, then made his way down my body. His stubble followed by soft kisses set every nerve on fire. By the time he place a kiss right over my core I was putty in his hands and soaking wet. My voice was anything but steady,

"Jayne please. I need you."

My whole body throbbed as he growled against the sensitive skin between my thighs. He swiped his tongue just once and I couldn't help the moan that escaped. He moved up my body again, settling his hips between my thighs. The tip of him rested against my hot core making it hard to focus as he asked gently,

"AJ?"

It took me a moment to understand what he was asking,

"I'm safe. And clean."

He leaned down to kiss me as he pushed in. I moaned at the stretching pressure that was edging on pain. He was a big man and it had been a very long time. He watched my face carefully as he slowly slid in to the hilt.

When he was fully in, I was panting and I could see the effort it was taking for him to stay still and let me adjust. I said, breathlessly,

"Damn you are big."

I felt his cock twitch within me at that, causing me to moan. His jaw was clenched. I gripped his biceps and pleaded,

"Please Jayne."

That was all he needed and began to thrust into me. My whole body bowed up to meet his thrusts. I gripped his arms tighter, my nails digging in to the skin of his biceps. He hissed and then leaned down to take my mouth in a kiss that pulled a moan from me. He buried his face in my neck, kissing the skin where it met my shoulder. My hands went to his broad shoulders. Jayne's voice was low and rough when he said,

"God, AJ you feel so damn good. I don't know how long I'm gonna last."

I couldn't help the moan at his words and said, between breaths,

"Don't hold back, Jayne."

Jayne's growl resonated to my core. He shifted to lean on one hand and hoisted my leg higher up on to his hip changing the angle and I almost cried out at the new feeling. I hooked my leg over his hip and his hand moved to my breast, squeezing gently and then pinching my nipple. This time I did cry out, Jayne's name a prayer on my lips. Jayne's pace quickened and his rhythm faltered. My whole body bowed up when he hit a spot inside me that shot lightening through every nerve. I felt a flood of heat inside me and Jayne's growl as he came sent shivers down my spine. His arms started to give out and I tugged to pull him down on top of me. His heat and weight comforting. I carded my fingers through his hair as he got his breathing back to normal.

He shifted to take his weight off me and as he did he slipped from inside me and I moaned at the loss. He chuckled a little and said,

"I feel the same, darlin'."

He kissed my forehead and reached for a cloth to help me get cleaned up. His gentle touch and the fact that I was still turned on cause me to gasp at the contact. I was surprised when Jayne laid down next to me and put an arm around me coaxing me to shift so my back was pressed against his chest. He pulled a blanket up over us and nuzzled into the side of my neck. He whispered,

"I'm sorry that was kinda rushed. Next time it's all about you."

It hit me hard that he was already thinking of a next time.

Jayne's breathing was starting to even out and between that, his arm wrapped around me and the heat radiating off him, I could feel sleep starting to pull me in quickly.


	16. Chapter 16

Jayne woke early the next morning despite being up late into the night. He looked down to find AJ still asleep, her head on his chest and an arm and leg thrown over him. His arm was thrown over her, keeping her close to him. He moved his arm to brush some of her wild dark hair out of her face. Even in sleep, Jayne was struck by how beautiful she was. He ran his fingers gently through her hair. This situation was so foreign to him but it felt so comfortable to have spent the night with this woman in his arms. He was quickly becoming aware that there was no going back. The glaringly obvious sign was that he had never kissed any of the women he'd been with in recent memory but he couldn't get enough of kissing AJ. Previously, all of this would have sent Jayne running but right now he had no desire to be anywhere but right where he was.

AJ began to stir then. Jayne ran his fingers through her hair again as her thick eyelashes fluttered open and those big brown eyes met his. He smiled and said,

"Mornin' beautiful. How d'ya feel?"

I woke the next morning to the feeling of Jayne running his fingers through my hair. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and looked up at him. He smiled and spoke, his voice still a little rough from sleep,

"Mornin' beautiful. How d'ya feel?"

I stretched a little, my whole body still pressed against his. A little moan slipped out at the delicious soreness I felt.

"Morning. A little sore, honestly. But good."

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a smirk. He said,

"Ya know what helps with that?"

His hand ghosted down my side and gripped my ass.

"Repetition."

I laughed a little but couldn't help but be turned on.

Heat rose in my cheeks and settled in the pit of my stomach. Jayne noticed the flush in my face and shifted me so I was sitting up straddling his hips, the blanket falling away from us. As I steadied myself, I rubbed against his already hard cock and a moan slipped from my throat. I felt him twitch against me and it felt empowering. Jayne pulled himself in to a sitting position and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. He kissed me and it quickly went from gentle to steamy. I dug my fingers into his hair and pulled gently. His hands found their way to my breasts and his fingers gently played with my nipples. It only took moments and I was lost in the sensations. Suddenly, Jayne had me on my back and was hovering over me. He began to leave a trail of soft, wet kisses down my neck, over my collar bones, down my chest. When he reached my breasts, he lavished attention on each sensitive peak. I was writhing beneath him by the time he continued down my body, kissing random places the whole way until he reached my core.

He slid a single finger through the folds and even I could see how wet his finger was when he pulled back. He looked up at me with a predatory glint in his eyes.

"Is this all for me?"

I could only nod. He sucked his finger into his mouth and I felt pressure build low in my abdomen at the sight. Jayne slipped his finger back into me and slowly began to pump it in and out. His other hand moved in and it took him barely a moment to find the bundle of nerves and press on it. My hips bucked against his hand of their own will. Jayne hooked his finger deep inside me and pressed down on my clit at the same time and the pressure in my belly exploded. I saw stars and I think I screamed his name.

Next thing I knew Jayne was laying next to me on his side. His free hand rested on my stomach. I looked up at him a little confused.

"That's never happened to me before."

Jayne chuckled,

"That's an orgasm darlin'."

I was starting to come back around and I said,

"Don't take this wrong, but I didn't figure you for a guy that would do that for a girl."

He leaned in and whispered,

"Never done that before."

A shiver ran through me at his words and Jayne was back over top of me. He pulled one of my legs up over his hip again. He straightened my leg out parallel to his chest and turned his head to leave wet kisses along the inside of my ankle as he lined himself up with my center.

Jayne hadn't lied. Everything about this second time was all about me. I could feel the pressure building again and I could see how hard Jayne was trying to hold back. He shifted just a little but it was enough that he hit a spot inside me that made my whole body tense. I gasped out his name,

"Jayne!"

"C'mon darlin'. Let go."

He leaned down and captured my lips in a hot kiss that pushed me right to the edge. My whole body bowed up to meet his. I saw stars and the pressure felt like a white hot explosion as it released. I felt Jayne's thrusts become erratic and somewhere in the fog I heard him growl my name.

I came back around to reality to Jayne leaning over me, tossing something across the room. I just stared at him a moment and said,

"You are incredible."

He chuckled and dropped a kiss on my forehead before leaning back to sit against the wall. We stayed there in silence for few moments. My fingers wandered up and down Jayne's chest, tracing patterns on his skin. After a bit I sat up and stretched,

"I should go get cleaned up and changed."

Jayne pinched my butt as I stood off the bed.

"Hey!"

He just laughed. I leaned over and kissed him. He said,

"See ya at breakfast."

I used the sink in my bunk to give myself a quick sponge bath. As I was changing into fresh clothes I began to think. I started to wonder how Jayne and I were going to move forward. I didn't get far into my little freak out when Simon knocked on the door.

"AJ, you up?"

"Be out in a jiff."

I pulled my hair into a ponytail and stepped out to head to breakfast. I helped Shepherd Book set the table as everyone trickled into the galley. I took my usual seat as Mal walked in. Jayne came in followed closely by Kaylee. His hand slid over my shoulder and flipped my ponytail as he walked passed my chair to take his seat. I took that little gesture as a sign that this wasn't just going to be a one night stand. He was giving me hope. I knew it was dangerous but I was hoping it would all be worth it.

The meal proceeded much the same as they always did. Shepherd Book informed us that he'd be leaving. He'd been asked to Shepherd a flock on Haven and felt called to it. Wash mentioned that we weren't far from Haven, couple hours detour. It was decided that we'd make the detour and drop Shepherd off in the morning. A sadness washed over the table for the rest of breakfast. As the meal wrapped up Shepherd said,

"Don't be sad. We will see each other again before long."

When I went to stand up to clean up I found that the soreness from earlier had crept back up on me. I muttered a soft,

"Son of a bitch," under my breath.

Simon asked, concerned,

"AJ are you ok?"

Jayne chuckled and I smacked his shoulder. The interaction got looks from everyone at the table.

"I'm fine, Simon. Just a little sore."

I tried to put an end to the conversation by continuing to clean up.

"Jayne. Be a dear and help me clean up."

I didn't even have to be looking at him to know he rolled his eyes at me. But he pushed back and grabbed some dishes. Everyone followed suit shortly after. It wasn't that I was ashamed or didn't want people to know Jayne and I slept together. I just didn't know where he stood on the subject of us being an 'us'. I found out later that afternoon. So did everyone else.

Some how we had all found ourselves in the cargo bay. Shepherd Book was walking laps around the open space. Kaylee and River were playing Jacks. I was standing up on the catwalk watching everyone. Jayne had taken up a seat on one of the crates and was carving something while Mal and Zoe stood off to one side. It looked like they were discussing something to do with the old, wrecked mule that we had a few parts from. Simon walked in from the infirmary just as Wash came down from the bridge with the ball.

"Who's up for a game?"

Zoe smiled at her husband and immediately took off her vest and rolled up her sleeves. Mal said,

"Sure I'm in."

Mal turned to Jayne about to ask him if he was going to play when he noticed Jayne was wearing his hat. I was about half way down the stairs when Mal asked,

"How'd you get your hat fixed? I thought it was gone."

Jayne smiled then and looked at me. I was almost right next to him and he reached out and tugged me to be standing between his legs where he was sitting on the crate.

"AJ saved it an' sent it to my Ma who fixed it an' sent it back."

I didn't have to try but I felt the wheels turning in everyone's brains as they processed what Jayne had said and the fact that he had his arm wrapped around my waist at the moment.

Mal looked between the two of us probably five times. Then, while gesturing to us, asked,

"What, exactly, is happening here?"

I turned my head slightly to look at Jayne. I was suddenly very nervous. His answer had the potential to change my whole world. He just looked back at me and shrugged, then looked back to Mal and said,

"She's my girl."

My heart damn near exploded out of my chest. Zoe had a smug little smirk on her face that made Wash move closer to ask her what she knew. Mal's jaw was hanging open just a bit. Kaylee was beaming and Shepherd just smiled back at me. Simon's delayed,

"What?!" made everyone turn and look at him. I tensed up. I instantly felt Jayne tighten the arm that was wrapped around me. Suddenly, River stood up and said,

"Bi jweh, Simon! Don't be a boob."

That ended that conversation. We split into teams. Wash, Zoe and River versus Jayne, Mal and myself. Jayne insisted that River and I split up because,

"It ain't fair to have two mind readers on one team."

It was a really close game. We were tied up until the very last when Mal threw a wild shot and sunk it, winning us the game. There was plenty of cheering and trash talk as we all made our way to the galley for water. I saw Simon leaving as we entered and I just knew he and I were going to have a problem. We all ended up sitting around the table chatting as we came down from our game. Mal finally asked,

"Ok, so how long has this been going on and why didn't I know about it?"

I responded,

"Officially? I don't know. How long was that game?"

Eyebrows raised. I laughed a little.

"I don't know, we've kinda been dancing around it for a couple days now. Things kinda jumped forward last night."

Zoe asked,

"So when you said you were sore at breakfast...?"

She let the question hang in the air and my face flushed hot and bright red. Mal was jokingly indignant,

"Oh come on! I can't know that!"

Wash said,

"This explains so much."

Mal said,

"Ship board romances cause complications. If..."

I cut him off saying,

"With respect, sir, the only ship board romance that has caused complications was yours. And have I ever caused you problems that I didn't clean up myself?"

Mal glared at me a moment then his face softened and he said,

"Fine. I'll allow it."

We all laughed then, knowing the Captain wouldn't be able to stop us if he wanted. River chimed in then looking at Jayne,

"Remember, I can kill you with my brain."

Jayne looked a little startled and I was trying hard not to laugh.

"I ain't gonna hurt her."

River smiled then and said,

"I know."

We all laughed a little and I put my hand on Jayne's shoulder. We all dispersed not long after that.

After dinner that night found Kaylee, Zoe, River and I playing dominoes at the game table. Zoe said,

"Alright AJ. You're the only other one getting any now. It's your turn to dish."

Kaylee chimed in,

"Yes please. We are very curious about Jayne."

I blushed but gave them some of the dirty details.

"I don't really have anything to compare him to but it was amazing."

Kaylee was still a little shocked at one particular detail,

"He kissed you, though! On the lips!"

I admitted to them that I was a little nervous because he was being so sweet to me and that was so different for him. They all reassured me that this was different for Jayne but that didn't mean it was a bad thing. We finished one game and started another. River spoke up and said,

"Simon is upset."

"I could tell."

"He doesn't think Jayne is good. He is also bitter because you have something that he could have but won't go for."

We all looked at River. She looked at Kaylee.

"He thinks about you a lot. But he is too preoccupied to do anything about it. He will regret it. You won't."

She turned to look at me then and continued,

"He's going to confront you soon. Don't let him confront Jayne alone. Jayne will hurt him because he will say something stupid about you. He's a boob."

I couldn't help the laugh at River's newest description of her brother.

When we finished our game; Zoe won; everyone headed off to bed. I went to find Jayne. I literally ran into him as we came around the corner at the same time. His arm shot out and caught me as I stumbled back. He pulled me back in close and I smiled up at him.

"Hi. I was just coming to find you."

He quirked an eyebrow suggestively. I blushed a little but continued,

"I need to talk to you."

"My bunk?"

I nodded and followed him down the ladder. The hatch locked behind me and Jayne kicked off his boots and reclined on the mattress.

"What's buggin' ya?"

I don't know why I was anxious, but I started to pace.

"Simon is upset about us. River told me he plans on confronting me about us. She said he doesn't think you're good. I don't care what he thinks but I don't like fighting with him. He gave up his whole future to help me. But I didn't even let my own parents force me into something I didn't want so why would he think I'd let his opinion influence me. And River told me that if he confronts you alone you'd hurt him because he'd say something stupid about me. And he doesn't have the balls to admit his feelings for Kaylee and he just keeps hurting her. What are we Jayne? Is there any future here? Am I just someone to pass the time? Just good sex? Do you see any future with me?"

Jayne cut me off. He sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled me in to stand between his legs, facing him, his hands resting on my waist.

"AJ. Stop."

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"First, we can be whatever you want. I ain't ever felt like this and I ain't good with words but ya make me happy, AJ. I don't think much of the future. My kinda life, well I ain't likely to live all that long. But if'n I got a future, yer in it."

Tears pricked the back of my eyes but I let him continue.

"As fer Simon. Don't worry 'bout what he thinks. And Moonbrain is right. I would hurt him if he said somethin' stupid 'bout you. No one talks bad 'bout my girl an' gets away with it."

I smiled then,

"I'm your girl?"

"Damn right you are."

He kissed me then and all the tension left my body as I leaned into him. He whispered,

"Yer quite the sight when you get all riled up. Made me wanna throw ya on this bed and have my way with you."

"So what's stoppin' ya?"

He growled and stood, swinging me around, dropping me on the bed and crawling over me. He made good on his threat and I forgot all about any anxiety I had. I was quickly learning that Jayne was a master at driving all thoughts except of him from my mind. Jayne and I fell asleep tangled together again that night and I slept more soundly than I had in a long time.

 _Bi jweh - shut up_


	17. Chapter 17

The next evening the tension from Simon finally came to a head. We were all a little edgy after having said our goodbyes to Book on Haven early that morning. We were all finishing dinner. Mal was telling us about a job he'd lined up that could get us funds to buy a new mule.

"AJ, you up to be on this run with us?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Good. We could use your skills."

Jayne grinned at me and leaned over and kissed my temple. Simon scoffed and everyone turned to stare at him.

"Are you done with this joke? It's not funny."

"Joke?"

"Oh come on, AJ! You aren't seriously in a relationship with this...man."

I took a deep breath to keep from yelling.

"Excuse me."

"Seriously, AJ. You are so much better than him. He's going to get you killed or caught. He already almost has."

"So have you if you remember correctly, cousin. And I'm no better than anyone else. Neither are you. Jayne happens to return my feelings. But that's not something you understand, is it?"

Simon opened his mouth to continue but I stood and slammed my hand on the table.

"No. For once in your life shut up and listen, Simon. You are being feifei de hundan. Get your head out of your ass and live in the real 'verse. The three of us are living on borrowed time until we find a way to get the Feds off our backs. You're not going to fix River. You haven't even tried to fix me. Time will heal her wounds a lot better than you obsessing. And don't you dare try to bring me down just because you don't have the gorram balls to admit you like Kaylee as much as she likes you. You are da xiang de baofa xing fuxie for stringing her along the way you do. It makes me want to space you. And this man is ten times the man you are right now because while he may be a right ass sometimes he never pretends to be anything but what he is. So, until you get your head out of your pi gu, don't talk to me."

I shoved my chair into the table and stormed away. I was fuming mad and if I stayed there a second longer I was going to end up hurting him.

I stomped into the cargo bay, not really seeing where I was going but trying to find a place to vent my anger and hurt. I stopped and just wanted to scream and punch something. That's when I recognized where I was and just in front of me was Jayne's punching bag. Simon's smarmy face was all I could see floating in front of me. I finally couldn't take it anymore and threw a perfect roundhouse kick that landed squarely on the bag. My vision was blurry with tears and my blood was pounding. Simon's face swam on the punching bag flanked by my parents' and sister's faces. I just started throwing punches. The Academy combat training was like muscle memory. It was minutes before I ran out of anger and hit my knees and gave in to the tears that had been streaming down my face.

I felt a large hand rest on my back and heard Jayne's voice but I wasn't registering what he was saying. He was kneeling next to me and gently put his hand under my chin so I would look at him. He said something but I didn't hear him. He helped me stand and then picked me up when I didn't walk with him. I heard River's voice faintly and some where through my tears and ridiculous hysteria I could see her in front of me, leading Jayne.

I finally came out of whatever state I'd managed to put myself in to Jayne kneeling in front of me as I sat on the edge of my bed. He held my hand in his and I was suddenly aware that my knuckles were stinging. I flinched slightly as Jayne wiped an antiseptic cloth over my bloody knuckles and they stung. He looked up at me, realizing I was back in the real world. His voice was quiet as he said,

"You did quite the number on yer hands here. I'm gonna clean 'em up. Just relax."

I watched in silence as Jayne cleaned away the blood and carefully wrapped my hands.

He stood then and asked,

"Do you need help changing?"

I just stared back at him blankly.

"Your clothes? You need sleep, darlin'."

My voice was hoarse when I replied,

"No."

Jayne leaned over and kissed my head then moved to open the door.

"Wait."

Suddenly, the idea of being alone was nerve wracking.

"Stay. Please?"

Jayne closed the door and hit the switch to dim the light.

"Into bed, AJ."

I obeyed, pulling my pants off and tossing all my clothes into the corner and putting on my usual night shirt. I shuffled into bed, under the covers and waited as Jayne removed his boots and clothes leaving him in just shorts when he got into bed next to me. He laid down on his back and moved his arm, inviting me to curl up next to him. I took the invitation and laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arm over his chest. His arm curled around my shoulders and his hand rested on my side over my ribs. His other hand came up and brushed my hair off my face. My eyes were suddenly heavy. The steady rhythm of Jayne's heart beating in his chest lulled me to sleep.

I woke with a start late in the night from a nightmare. I jerked awake, sitting straight up in bed. The movement woke Jayne. His hand slid up my back and his voice was low with sleep when he asked,

"What's wrong, darlin'?"

"Nightmare. I kept seeing my parents then suddenly they were the blue hands. I woke up as they were dragging me away from Serenity."

Jayne's hand on my shoulder coaxed me back down to lay on his chest.

"I ain't gonna let them take you back."

A sense of calm rolled over me at his words and I relaxed back into his strong arms and sleep.

Simon and I didn't speak for a long time after that night.

The job Fanty and Mingo had set up for us was a cake walk. Illegal transport and delivery of some black market merchandise. The drop went off without a hitch. The take was sweet and we took it straight to buy a new mule. Kaylee was beside herself as Mal backed the rig into the bay. As we made our way back to Beaumond to hand off Fanty and Mingo's take and line up another job, Kaylee and I played with her new toy. We rigged up a system to store the mule by hanging it from the rafters.

When we got back to Beaumond, Captain and Zoe went to meet with Fanty and Mingo and the rest of us were ordered to stay on the ship. Jayne and I passed the time by sparring in the cargo bay. We hadn't done this since before our feelings for each other were revealed and it was a lot of fun.

At first, Jayne was hesitant to take swings at me. We danced around each other for a bit. Then I feinted to the right and dove left, swiping at Jayne's ankles with my leg. He landed flat on his back and before he quite realized what had happened I was straddling his hips, pinning his arms to the floor with my hands on his wrists. I released his wrists and slid my hands up his chest until I was laying, pressed against him. He tried to glare at me while he caught his breath.

"Jayne, dear, you have to at least try to hit me. Don't worry, I can take whatever you throw at me."

I kissed his neck and wiggled myself back into a sitting position. He groaned and his hands found my hips.

"A trained government assassin and one of the best trackers and gun hands...we can be one hell of a team."

"All right Firecracker. Let's get to it."

I kissed his cheek and back flipped up off him, landing on my feet a few feet away.

We'd been at it for nearly an hour when the door to the bay opened and Captain and Zoe stepped through to find me perched on Jayne's shoulders, both of us sweaty and breathing heavy. I pushed my hair out of my face and smiled at them.

"Did we get another job?"

Captain said, "Uh yeah. What exactly is going on here?"

"Sparring Cap'n."

"And why are you on Jayne's shoulders?"

"Well ideally this move would be used to strangle my opponent but I don't have anything to do that with currently and I kinda like this big teddy bear."

"Watch it, girly," Jayne growled.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" I whispered and nipped gently at his ear.

Lust rolled off him in a wave and I filed that away for later as he reached up, gripping my waist and lifted me, reminding me of how strong he was. As I came up off him, I planted my feet on his shoulders and launched forward out of his grip. I hit the ground hands first and tucked into a somersault propelling myself back to my feet and swung back around to face Jayne in a crouch with a grin. His grin was predatory and we were back in our own world and didn't notice Mal and Zoe leave. We didn't notice much but each other for another nearly 30 minutes.

When we finally called it quits we were both sweaty and tired. Jayne threw his arm over my shoulders as we crossed the bay to go get cleaned up. He pulled me in and kissed my temple.

"I'm glad yer on our side."

I looked up at him.

"Why's that?"

He leaned in and whispered, "Cuz you'd've kicked my ass."

A giggle slipped out.

Jayne removed his arm and reached out and smacked my ass as we parted ways to change clothes and get cleaned up before dinner. A yelp escaped my lips and I whipped around to see Jayne grinning back at me as he walked away.

At dinner Mal told us about the job Fanty and Mingo got us on Lilac. He pinned Jayne and I with a stare and said,

"Am I going to have a problem with you two?"

I feigned hurt with a dramatic hand over my heart.

"Captain! I'm hurt!"

Mal spluttered a moment and I too mercy letting my laughter bubble out.

"Cap'n, Jayne and I are professionals. If anything we've become a better team recently. I promise that our affection for each other won't be the cause of any complications."

Mal nodded then.

"Good."

Later that night, River found me sitting under the windows in the nose of Serenity, reading. She sat next to me and just rested her head on my shoulder. When I reached a stopping point she sighed quietly and said,

"I like listening to you read. You're thoughts are so vivid when you read a good story."

I smiled and set my hand on her knee,

"Thank you, mei mei."

I turned my head to look at her without dislodging her from my shoulder.

"Something on your mind?"

She was silent for several moments then asked,

"Can I come with you on the job on Lilac?"

"As part of the team?"

She nodded.

"River it is dangerous. And there is no way Simon would be o with it."

"I can help. And that's why I came to you. Cap'n will listen to you. He trusts you and values your opinion much lie Zoe's."

Pride swelled in my chest at that.

"Why do you want to come with, River?"

"To be useful and earn my keep."

I sighed and squeezed her knee.

"I will talk to Cap'n. I can't promise anything. This will require lying to your brother, you know?"

"I understand the consequences and implication of my actions."

"I think your brother forgets you are a genius sometimes."

"He forgets I'm a person sometimes."

We sat quietly for a moment then River asked,

"Can I stay here while you read?"

"Of course, mei mei."

I read to myself with River listening to my thoughts for more than an hour. She fell asleep with her head in my lap about 20 minutes before I heard Jayne's footsteps coming up the steps into the bridge. When he finally saw me I motioned for him to stay quiet and come down to me. He knelt in front of me and I asked quietly,

"Can you please pick her up for me and help me take her to bed?"

I expected resistance from the merc, knowing his feeling regarding the teenager, but he just shifted position and scooped her up gently. He followed me to her room in the passenger dorms and set her carefully on her bed. I removed her favorite combat boots and tucked her in under the covers. I turned the light off and closed the door, joining Jayne out in the lounge area.

As I reached Jayne he wrapped me in a hug and kissed me gently. His voice was quiet when he asked,

"Spend the night with me?"

My body came alive at his request.

"Sure."

He took my hand and lead me to his bunk.

This time was different. Jayne took his time undressing me and I helped him step out of his pants. He leaned me back on to the bed and lavished kisses on me. My whole body was humming from his attention. He paused and looked up at me. I smiled and without warning I wrapped my legs around his waist and levered myself up to flip Jayne onto his back. He looked slightly startled as he stared up at me and I just leaned forward and nipped at his ear earning a muffled groan. Grinning, I murmured,

"My turn."

I took my time exploring Jayne's muscular body. I kissed a line along the knife scar on his chest. I was pleased with myself for the minimal appearance of the scar. I took a nipple between my teeth and rolled it gently. The hiss I earned sent heat rushing to my core. I made my way further south finally reaching my destination. I took my sweet time exploring every inch and each reaction. Jayne was putty in my hands and for the first time in my life I felt like a woman. Jayne's hand was buried in my hair and he gave a tug drawing a moan up my throat, muffled by his cock filling my mouth. He groaned and his hips bucked up making me gag. I pulled back to catch my breath and he immediately started to apologize. I pressed a fingertip to his lips.

"Don't. You're just really big."

I said with a smirk and took him back in my mouth.

A few moments later he tugged on my hair again,

"AJ, I ain't gonna last."

I released him with a pop and his voice was rough as he said,

"Come here."

Pulling me up for a long, hot kiss that boiled in my core. When we pulled apart to gasp for air I guided him to my slick core. I eased down slowly, savoring the feeling of him stretching and filling me and the look of pleasure on Jayne's face. When he was fully inside me I rocked my hips experimentally. The feeling made him grip my hips and my clit rubbing on him made my head fall back and a moan bubbled up my throat.

I set the pace slow and easy, enjoying every stroke and every sensation. Jayne's hands wandered my body, caressing my skin. When my pace began to falter he gripped my hips to steady me and began to thrust up into me. I tipped forward, bracing myself with my hands on either side of his head. The new angle had me trembling. I felt an orgasm start to peak and my voice was less than steady,

"Jayne..."

"Come for me, baby."

That was it. I saw stars and felt the delicious pressure release as Jayne continued to thrust as he came on the heels of my orgasm. My arms were shaking and I collapsed on Jayne's chest. We laid there for several minutes. Jayne's chest slowly stopped heaving and my body stopped shaking.

Jayne's voice was still rough when he said,

"Let's get you cleaned up."

"Mmhm."

As I moved off him he slipped from inside me, still semi-hard. I stood in front of the mirror above the sink once I cleaned up. Jayne stood behind me with his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. His voice was barely above a whisper as he confided,

"You are an incredible woman."

I blushed and looked down.

"I ain't ever known any one like you. I'm glad yer mine."

He kissed me again and pulled me back into bed.

Once we were snuggled in under the blanket, my head resting on Jayne's chest, I asked,

"How would you feel about River coming with us on the Lilac job?"

He tilted his head to look at me. I shifted to prop myself up on his chest.

"Be honest." I requested.

He thought a moment.

"I ain't sure. On one hand she's a helluva shot if what Kaylee says is true. But she's a mite unpredictable. She's a mind reader but she ain't exactly stable. Why ya askin'?"

"She asked me if she could come with. She wants to be useful and, as she put it earn her keep. She wants me to ask Cap'n."

"Do you think she'd be useful?"

"She has the skills. Given practice she could be one hell of an asset. I also think she wants to get out from under Simon. She's 17 after all."

"If you think she can handle it I'll work with it."

I smiled and scooted up to kiss him.

"You continue to amaze me Jayne Cobb."

"Now don't you go tellin' people none a' that nonsense."

I laughed.

"I'll protect your intimidating reputation."

We discussed how best to present this to the captain and I came up with a plan for dealing with Simon's inevitable reaction.

Jayne fell asleep before I did that night. In the dimmed light of the bunk I watched him sleeping. I'd been 'in love' with Jayne for months now but it had become obvious that I truly did love this man. His possible reaction to my admission was terrifying but at the same time I had a gut instinct that he had similar feelings for me.

It was late morning when I went to find Captain and Zoe. I found both on the bridge with Wash.

"Can I talk to you both for a minute?"

Both nodded. Mal took a seat in the co-pilot chair and Zoe sat on the edge of Wash's console. I stood between the two of them and presented my case.

"River would like to offer her services on the job tomorrow on Lilac."

Zoe didn't react at all. I knew Wash's eyebrows were in his hairline. Mal gave me a look that demanded I continue.

"She would like to earn her keep and be useful. She understands the danger in this job but feels she could be of use. I know she's only 17 but she is absolutely brilliant an I think, if given the chance, she could be an incredible asset to the crew. And I know she's not exactly stable but I can help deal with that. And she's a far more attuned reader than me. We all know she can shoot almost as good as Jayne."

I paused and looked at Captain and First Mate. Predictably, Zoe showed no emotion. Mal said,

"I need to think about this."

"Of course. One more thing, for full disclosure. Simon."

"What about him?"

"There's no way in the 'verse he'd be ok with this. But especially so if he knew River had asked to be included. She's his baby sister and he can't see passed the trauma she's endured to see that she is still a person, actual and whole and capable of great things. I figure the best way to circumvent him is, if you agree to this, too make it seem like you are ordering her come along. He'll pitch a fit but he can't stop you."

There was a long pause. Mal finally responded,

"I'll let you know tonight."

"Thank you, sir."

I nodded to him and Zoe.

I left the bridge feeling good about things. Mal didn't flat out say no which was a very good sign. I went in search of Jayne. I found him in the cargo bay at his equipment. I stood on the catwalk and admired him a moment.

"Hey handsome."

He turned to look up at me and smiled. He moved toward the stairs as I bounced my way down. I'd made up my mind to bare my soul to him, damn the consequences. As I bounced to a stop in front of him I couldn't help the smile. I rolled up on my tip toes and planted a kiss on his lips. Before he could respond I said,

"Can I be brutally honest with you?"

"Uh, sure."

I took a deep breath and laid it all on the line.

"I love you, Jayne Cobb."

 _feifei de hundan - a baboon's asshole_

 _da xiang de baofa xing fuxie - the explosive diarrhea of an elephant_

 _pi gu - ass_

 _mei mei - little sister_


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Jayne stared at me for what felt like eternity but was only seconds. I'd imagined a million scenarios but what happened next was not what I expected. Suddenly, he was lifting me into the air and kissing me. He spun in a circle and as he set me back on my feet he whispered in my ear,

"I love you, too."

I damn near fainted.

"You do?"

Was my stupid response. He chuckled,

"Is that so hard to believe, Firecracker?"

I stuttered,

"Well…I mean…you do have a reputation."

He laughed, loud and booming. I was swept up in his arms again. I was happier in that moment than I had been in years.

We sat on the bench making out like teenagers. I was still giddy. Jayne shocked the hell out of me again when he pulled back, looked me square in the eyes and said,

"Ya know yer gonna have to meet my Ma now."

My heart was racing.

"I'd love to meet your family."

He grinned and kissed me again. We were interrupted by Mal on the comms,

"AJ. Come see me on the bridge."

I jumped up.

"Oh lord."

I turned back to Jayne. His questioning look prompted an explanation.

"I talked to Cap'n and Zoe about River. Cap'n said he'd get back to me."

"Well let's go then."

I had to focus not to just bolt up the stairs. Jayne was calm as he followed me to the bridge. His calm helped me keep my focus.

I stood in front of Mal and Zoe on the bridge, nervous and trying not to fidget. Jayne had taken up a seat on one of the crates in the corner.

"Alright. River can come with tomorrow."

I nearly jumped through the roof in excitement but managed to keep my reaction to a smile.

"Thank you, Captain."

"You gotta keep an eye on her. If anything goes wrong, you gotta deal with the doc."

"Of course, sir."

"It's gonna be a tight squeeze cuz that mule will only run with 5, no more. You and River are gonna be in charge of making sure no one sneaks up on us. This job ain't exactly legitimate and we don't wanna get pinched."

"Understood, sir. River will be excellent at reading the situation. I'll keep her safe. I'll go let her know the plan. Should I tell Simon the orders?"

"Go ahead."

I darted forward and kissed Mal on the cheek and said,

"You won't regret this, Cap'n."

I was darting down the stairs before he could react. I faintly heard him say,

"You picked one helluva woman, Jayne."

I skidded to a halt in front of River's door. I knocked,

"River darlin'!"

She slid the door open.

"I have good news from the Captain!"

She grinned and threw her arms around me in a hug.

"Thank you, AJ."

"Let's go tell, Simon. Follow my lead."

We casually walked into the infirmary. This would be the first I'd spoken to Simon since yelling at him over dinner.

"Hey Simon. Just a heads up. River is coming with on the job tomorrow. Captain's orders."

He spluttered and stared a moment then finally found his voice.

"Absolutely not."

"This ain't up for debate, Dr. Tam."

That riled him up even more.

"Is everyone making stupid decisions lately? She's 17. She's a mentally traumatized 17 year old! She should not be going on 'jobs' with a smuggling crew. It's dangerous and I won't have it!"

"Well, River here agreed and I think it's a good idea. You got a problem with it, take it up with the captain."

I turned on my heel and marched right out of that cold sterile room, River hot on my heels.

We both ended up in my room, sitting cross legged on my bed, giggling about Simon's reaction. Dinner that night was a tense affair. It was clear Simon had confronted Mal and it hadn't gone well. There wasn't much though that could bring me down after this morning's developments with Jayne. Simon was glaring at me across the table through the whole meal. When I'd finished eating, I took a drink of water and met his glare over the edge of my cup. I set it down gently, never breaking eye contact and said,

"Something wrong, Simon."

He scoffed. I kept my calm and just kept watching him until he fessed up. His temper finally got the best of him.

"How could you?"

"How could I what?"

"I know you had something to do with this cockamamie scheme to drag River into this job. You're reckless and you're going to get caught and if you get River caught so help me, I'll…"

Jayne cut him off,

"Hey! Watch your mouth. She's saved your ass more times than you know. And River ain't as helpless as you wanna believe."

I still wasn't used to Jayne defending me but I appreciated him sticking up for River as well. Mal put an end to the argument.

"Enough! River is working tomorrow. End of story."

We were going to reach Lilac early in the morning for the planet which was early in the morning for us as well. After dinner was cleaned up I headed off to get some sleep. Jayne intercepted me and blocked the hallway with his body, arms spread to touch the walls.

"Where you off to?"

"Bed. Gotta get some sleep before the big robbery."

"Don't cha wanna sleep with me?"

"Is that an option?"

"It's always an option, darlin'."

I couldn't help the smile.

"No funny business mister. We both need sleep."

He smirked and heaved an exaggerated sigh,

"Fine."

I laughed and followed him off to his bunk.

Jayne and I woke early the next morning. I sat cross legged at the head of the bed while Jayne pulled all his weapons out and laid them on the bed. I picked up one of his knives and started playing with it. I was spinning it absentmindedly while watching Jayne load some of the magazines. It took me a moment to realize he'd stopped moving and was staring at me. I stopped moving,

"What?"

"You. Ya make it difficult to leave this bunk."

I smirked.

"Well...after work we can play."

He growled and went back to arming.

Mal came over comms to let everyone know we were on approach and to gear up. I hopped off the bed, kissed Jayne on the cheek and headed to my bunk to grab my gun and change clothes fast. I was lacing up my boots when I heard a bang and felt a shudder run through the ship. I stuffed my pistol in its holster at my back, grabbed my jacket and rushed out, calling for River. She met me in the galley as Mal's voice rang out on the intercom again.

"This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then explode."

I couldn't help but laugh, this crew was so dramatic some times. I turned to River.

"You ready, meimei?"

Her voice was serene as she spoke,

"I am."

I smiled.

"Alrighty then. Meet in the cargo bay at the Mule in 5 minutes and be ready to roll out."

She nodded and began to wander in that general direction. I could hear Mal and Jayne in the hallway. I heard Mall tell Jayne,

"No grenades."

I just smiled to myself. As I stepped into the crew hallway, Zoe was walking toward the bridge and saying,

"We're robbing the place. Not occupying it."

The ship jolted again and I missed the step but managed to catch myself without face planting and continued toward Jayne. I rolled up on my tip toes and dropped a quick kiss on his lips. He smiled at me and handed me a shotgun.

"Ohh."

That got a chuckle from the merc.

As we walked into the cargo bay I took in the fact that everyone but Wash was here. I heard Mal talking and focused on him for a moment. His voice had a final edge to it as he spoke to Simon,

"Things get gritty, I will keep her from the fray, but she's coming. Best you get her ready."

We loaded our gear into the Mule. Jayne gave River a boost up and she settled into her seat. I clambered up behind her with a boost from Jayne. I handed River a pair of goggles as Jayne took his seat next to me. Simon appeared next to River as Cap and Zoe took their seats up front and prepared to leave. His voice was low as he spoke to River.

"Now, River, you stay behind the others. If there's fighting you drop to the floor or run away. It's okay to leave them to die."

Without missing a beat, River put the goggles on and said,

"I'm the brains of the operation."

Mal commented,

"Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly. There could be tears."

I leaned over and said,

"Hey Simon."

He looked over at me and I said,

"Ta ma de."

Mal peeled out before Simon could respond.

The town was practically deserted as we rolled in. As Zoe hitched the Mule Jayne asked,

"What are we hoping to find here that equals the worth of a turd?"

"Security payroll. Alliance don't have the manpower to 'enforce the peace' on every outer-rim planet. They hire out to the private firms, who will not work for credit. They get paid in cashy money, which once a month rests here."

"Don't that lead back to the Alliance, any how?"

Zoe made the point,

"No private firm would ever report the theft of their own payroll. They'd appear weak, might lose their contract."

Mal was scanning the area as he agreed with Zoe,

"Yeah, we're as ghosts in this. Won't but rattle the floor."

Jayne stood and smirked,

"Shiny."

He unzipped his jacket to reveal the gun slung over his shoulder and across his chest.

"Let's be bad guys."

It shouldn't have but it turned me on a little.

As we all climbed down from the Mule I made an effort to open my mind. River and I took up post at the door as the other three burst through. I heard the single report of Zoe shooting out a camera as the doors swung shut and then just Mal's muffled voice. It was less than two minutes before Zoe was opening the door again to let us in. River began to wind her way through the people kneeling on the floor. Mal was giving a little speech discouraging anyone from trying to stop us. I began to walk the edge of the shop opposite Zoe. I kept one eye on River and could tell she was listening. She stopped and pointed, then looked over her shoulder at Zoe who gave her a questioning look. I continued my patrol around the station as Zoe dissuaded the man from trying to be a hero.

When the safe in the wall opened Zoe stood behind Mal, peering over his shoulder. Her sarcasm nearly made me laugh out loud.

"At last. We can retire and give up this life of crime."

As I joined them at the wall Mal turned and gave Zoe a look that conveyed how not funny he though she was. I turned back to keep an eye on the rest of the station as Mal pulled the handle to reveal the hidden vault.

Mal and Zoe went down the hidden stairs to empty the vault and I moved toward the door to protect our ext. That's when it happened. A wave of rage hit me so hard I actually stumbled. River let out a scream and fell to the floor. I was reeling still as Jayne moved to River.

"What the hell is up? You all right?"

He knelt next to her and asked,

"What's goin' on?"

Jayne looked up at me as we both whispered,

"Reavers."

I hadn't felt fear like this in a long time. Jayne ran for the stairs hollering for Mal.

Mal grabbed River's hand as we all made a hasty exit while the guard was herding everyone into the vault. The church bell was ringing constantly as we all clambered into the Mule. Zoe started to pull away and we saw the first of the Reavers as one of the people from the station ran out begging us to take him with. Mal shoved him off as his weight tipped the Mule. Reavers grabbed him and Mal put a bullet in his chest.

River was in the front seat and I told her to stay low as Zoe accelerated through the narrow streets. I knelt on the middle seat between Mal and Jayne, all three of us scanning the horizon. A mangled skiff swung out of town hot on our tail. It started to gain on us and Mal started yelling to Zoe,

"Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!"

It nudged our back corner tipping me into Jayne. I came back up an raised the shotgun and put a blast through the cockpit window and it backed off a bit.

Mal grabbed the back of my jacket, yanking me down as a hail of bullets impacted on the back of the Mule.

"How come they ain't blowing us out the air?!"

Jayne hollered at Mal as he put in a fresh magazine.

"They wanna run us down. The up-close kill."

What looked like a saw blade whizzed over our heads. I glanced back to see River hiding behind the seat. She said,

"They want us alive when they eat us."

"Boy, sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't'chya think?"

Jayne glared across me at Mal as we ducked another burst of fire. I stood and fired several rounds in quick succession at the Reaver skiff and I could hear Zoe frantically talking to Wash over the radio trying to get us help. Jayne unleashed a burst of automatic fire.

"I'm out. Where's my clips?"

I was doing everything in my power to block the blind rage, hunger and aggression rolling off the skiff like the black clouds of contaminated exhaust puffin out the back. Mal answered Jayne,

"Rear hatch."

As Jayne went to open the hatch another saw blade buried itself right in the lid, showering me with sparks and just missing taking Jayne's hand off. Jayne yelled an jumped back. He used the butt of his gun to dislodge the metal. Mal and I kept firing as Jayne stood and put his leg on the back trying to get leverage to get the now deformed lid open.

It happened fast. I heard the twang an then saw the harpoon pierce Jayne's calf right in front of my face. he had just enough time to register what happened before he was yanked back off the Mule. He managed to grab hold of the bar that served as the back bumper. He was stretched out between the two craft and was yelling,

"I won't get ate! You shoot me if they take me!"

Mal slammed a magazine in and leveled his pistol at Jayne.

"Well don't shoot me first!"

He fired an missed.

"Jayne! Hold on!"

Mal steadied himself and fired again. Another saw blade whizzed out and Mal just dodged it. I put a shotgun blast through that port as Mal swung back around and managed to break the line holding the spear. Both Mal and I reached over and helped Jayne haul himself back on board.

I grabbed his gun and let loose an entire magazine to help Zoe get some distance. Before I could stop him, Jayne yanked the spear out of his leg. He was clearly running on adrenaline because he was back up and taking his gun back. We all shielded our eyes as Zoe clipped a rock out crop to give us some cover. I watched as one of the larger rocks went right through the engine intake on the skiff and it veered away.

Zoe yelled for us to sit down and hold on to something. I was in the tiny middle jump seat so I just braced my feet on the backs of River's and Zoe's seats and held the shotgun across my lap pointed at the floor. Zoe gunned it and swung hard, forcing all of us to lean over and I was pinned into Mal's side by Jayne. She accelerated hard back toward the oncoming Reaver skiff. The three of us raised our weapons in anticipation but the shadow of Serenity fell over us. Only our forward momentum kept us from being clobbered as Wash scooped us up in the cargo bay. We came to a crashing halt against crates and Mal was flung over the side. There was a second impact and screeching metal as the skiff collided with Serenity's belly and a piece skidded to a halt on the floor of the bay. Mal scrambled out of the way as it screeched to a stop in front of him.

The door ground shut and Zoe jumped out of the Mule as Simon came around the other side. I didn't even hear the argument that started between Mal and Simon because I was so focused on the intense feeling that something was very wrong. It suddenly hit me. I gasped and stood straight up.

"Reaver."

It snarled as it got to its feel. Mal drew on it and fired. Jayne fired three rounds from his position on the stairs and Zoe put a few in it from Mal's other side. It fell face first on the ground, finally dead.

Simon came around the Mule after helping River down and decked Mal, sending him sprawling on the ground. There was a lot of yelling an swearing and threatening but I was too distracted to pay any attention to them. Jayne was back sitting in the Mule and he was in a lot of pain. He had taken his flask out and poured some on the wound and then took a big swig. I vaguely heard something about somebody being off the ship as I helped Jayne to his feet and to hobble down the steps to the infirmary. Jayne groaned as he reclined on the exam table.

"Gorram Reavers."

Before anything else I loaded the auto injector with a pain killer an stuck it in Jayne's arm. I put all my supplies on the little table and snapped on gloves. I rolled his pant leg up to his knee and then poured saline over both sides of his leg to clear away all the blood so I could see how bad it was. I made him move his foot about and flex and tell me what he could feel. From my seat on the little stool at his feet I looked up at him and said,

"You are one lucky son of a bitch, love. It missed the bone and it doesn't look like you have any nerve damage."

He just grunted in reply.

Simon stepped through the door then. Before he could speak and without looking up from Jayne's leg I asked,

"What do you want, Simon?"

"The Captain requested I patch up the crew."

I opened the bottle of alcohol and said,

"I'm really sorry about this."

Then doused both sides of the wound. Jayne gripped the exam table and let loose a litany of profanity. I pulled out the syringe of lidocaine and began injecting around the edges of to numb both holes so I could scrub out the wounds. As I did I spoke to Simon,

"You aren't needed here, Dr. Tam."

Simon stood in the doorway for a moment longer but I ignored his existence as I opened the sterile scrubber and began cleaning with saline.

"Jayne, tell me if it starts to hurt while I do this."

He didn't say anything. I heard him suck in a breath when I scrubbed a little hard but that was it. Simon finally walked away. I dried off his calf and wrapped a bandage around his leg.

I stood next to Jayne and told him,

"Ok. I can't stitch that up because the risk of infection his too high. We're going to keep it bandaged and I'm going to give you and immune booster and an antibiotic."

He just nodded at me. After giving him the two shots he sat up and stood up off the exam table. I stood in front of him.

"You ok?"

He managed a small smile and put his hands on my shoulders.

"I will be, thanks to you."

I rolled up on my toes to give him a peck on the lips. He said,

"'k. I'm gonna go take care of the mess in the bay while I still can't feel this."

"I'll come help in a bit. I have to check on River."

 _Ta ma de - fuck off_


End file.
